Living in Reality

~ Erin Blair

My husband and I were having an interesting discussion the other day (which we tend to have quite often). We were talking about why Christ said in Matthew 5:28, “But I say to you that whosoever looks at a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her in his heart.” We have read and heard lessons on this verse countless times in our lives. But what if God, and therefore Christ, were also making another point besides desiring something that isn’t ours to have?

The popularity of films and books like 50 Shades of Grey, Twilight and countless other “romance” novels is fairly simple I believe. Why do women fawn over characters like Christian Grey or Edward Cullen or –fill in the blank with whatever romantic character you wish-? These characters are fictional and therefore written to be “perfect.” It is an escape to a reality where their husband’s imperfections don’t exist.

It’s a matter of reality.

My husband pointed out in our discussion of Matthew 5:28 that when someone, man or woman, “lusts after” or desires another man or woman, they don’t see their flaws, their imperfections. They don’t see their bed head, or the hamper full of dirty clothes or the sink of dirty dishes. They see what they want to see – a “perfect” person. This isn’t real. No one is perfect.

God knows the danger of living in a reality that is not true real. If our minds are off in “la-la land,” dreaming about the handsome stranger we saw across the restaurant, or our minds are filled with thoughts of being rescued and romanced by a Fabio-esque hero, our minds our not on our husbands and not on God.

I know of women who got so engrossed in their fantasies that they neglected their duties as a Christian, as a wife, and as a mother. Their relationship with their family suffered, sometimes beyond repair. And most importantly, their relationship with God suffered. 

God knows how living apart mentally from our spouse can damage our relationship and how it can damage our relationship with Him. God has blessed us (James 1:17) so why would we want to any other reality?

Erin resides in Ben Wheeler TX with her husband, Jordan. Erin has been involved with preparing and organizing the work of the church since she was a teenager by teaching all ages of Bibles classes, helping prepare and organize Ladies Days, Prom Alternatives, Youth Rallies and VBS.  She is currently works as a paralegal for a law firm. She and her husband also spend their time enjoying their garden, dogs, rabbits, chickens, ducks, quail…etc.  Life is never dull at her house. 

Expectations

~Tracy Frederick

It is the beginning of another semester and I am in my 26th year of teaching. I have learned that although students change, they always stay the same. Every semester…yep every semester…when I ask them to send me their “concerns” for the class- so I know their anxieties, they have- they never failed to tell me that my reputation as a “tough teacher” precedes me, or “I hear that this class is very hard.” And every semester I pause before I respond. My first thought is: Of course I am “hard,” this is education! Or “Yes, this class is hard, if it weren’t why take it?!” …sigh… but their expectations for classes are always the same- it should be easy and I shouldn’t have such high expectations of them.

So, when I started reading them again this semester, I began to think about my own spirituality…and others. I realized how often I have thought the same thing of my Father: I have become upset and frustrated when the Christian walk is “hard” or discouragement hits me and I fall to my knees, or when I would like for Him to just “overlook” a sin.

I always respond to my student’s concerns about the class with: “Yes, it will be hard, but you can do it. You will learn a lot and if you follow the detailed instructions- offered for every assignment- and ask for help. I will do all that I can to help you succeed. I will model all speeches for you to offer you a real-life example.” And this seems to make them feel better…until the semester gets a little tough and I have to remind them again that I am here to help, to encourage and to offer instructions on how to succeed.

Yep, it is difficult to admit that I am not much better than those young people that I teach. I don’t know if you are like I am, but this morning as I was reading through the concerns, my mind drifted to the great encouragement that my Savior provided for me, to remind me that if it will NEVER be “easy” …it WILL be hard….So I need to stop expecting it to be differnt; to stop expecting it to be easy and just read the detailed instructions, ask for help and look to my Master Teacher who provides all I need to succeed.

John 15: 18-19 If the world hates you, you know that it hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love his own: but because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

Romans 5:3-5 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Philippians 4:12-13 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

James 1:2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

Romans 5:3-5 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Philippians 4:12-13 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I John 2:6: Whoever says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed

Psalms 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death ,I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

Psalms 34:17-18 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles.The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

Psalms 34:19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all.

Ignoring The Other Fruit

Tracy Frederick 

He really thought that he’d gotten away with it; he thought that he had covered his tracks well. No one said anything, but everyone new, but everyone also knew that he was God’s chosen. Who was going to say anything and risk being unemployed, perhaps put in prison, or worse? Besides, if anyone was above God’s law, it would be David, right? It is easy to list off David’s righteous accomplishments: He killed Goliath when no one else would attempt it; he didn’t kill Saul- God’s anointed, even though he had a right; he brought the ark back to Israel. I mean, it doesn’t get much better than David, right? I think it is interesting that God includes David’s sin in His book. David seemed so perfect, but then no one is…perfect, right? I cringe when I read Nathan’s words to David: you have “despised the commandments of the Lord to do evil in His sight” (2 Samuel 11). David despise the Lord? Really? Wow…..But didn’t he love the Lord? Didn’t God know that David was a good guy? I mean, “despised” is a pretty strong word. But, that’s the word that the Lord gave Nathan to say to David: despise. I can’t imagine the hurt that David felt. But, what follows is so amazing. David didn’t get angry at Nathan and he didn’t deny it. He didn’t argue with Nathan, or defend his actions. He didn’t try to excuse it away like Adam tried to excuse his sin in the garden, or Abraham’s lie about Sarah….nope, he owned it…He said: ”I have sinned against the Lord.” He owned it with NO excuses….He did it and he knew it…and in doing it and denying the sin, He despised the Lord. That’s what drove him to his knees; it drove him to the floor to pray for forgiveness and then he willingly accepted the consequences- the death of his child.

I wonder how often we our conscience is so sorely troubled over our offense that we have been too soul-sick to eat or sleep, or willingly accepted what we deserve, as David did. I fear that we have lost our ability to feel sorry…REALLY sorry, that godly sorrow that David felt (For godly sorrow works repentance to salvation not to be regretted: but the sorrow of the world works death. 2 Cor 7:10). I worry that we have convinced ourselves, perhaps like David, that we are such a good person that it will all “even out in the end.” Or perhaps we are in denial too? Perhaps we have convinced ourselves that our Father doesn’t really see?…doesn’t know?….won’t mind?….or will ignore it?…for us, since we love Him so much, right? If He love us so much, why wouldn’t He just overlook it? I mean, it’s embarrassing right? Repentance always is. It means that we put away our egos and admit that we are wrong….yep wrong…wrong…wrong… But, that’s what led us to the Lord in the first place, right? Realizing that we were wrong…DEAD wrong and knew the consequences that awaited us for despising the Lord. It is hard, I get it, repentance means that I have to make the sin right: I may have go to someone and apologize for being a liar, I may have to apologize for cheating, change my clothes or even change my friends….It means that I may be lonely for a very, very, very long time…But, you know the list of the works of the flesh in Gal 5 or the long list of sins in Rom 1. But, even if we don’t know that list by heart, we know…don’t we? Yeah, we know….we know what is right and what is wrong…. we know but I am not so sure that we realize that He knows too…He sees and He knows.… and the really important, or the scary and tough part is-- if He wasn’t willing to ignore David’s sins, He isn’t going to just ignore mine either is He? 

“Therefore bear fruits worthy of repentance.” Matthew 3:8

Keeping up with the Jones'

~Erin Blair

In today’s world, we are constantly bombarded via marketing ads, music, and even idle gossip to get the next big thing, next big toy.  So many people are trying so hard to “one up” their friends and neighbors.  If our neighbor buys a new car, well we have to buy one bigger and flashier than theirs.  If their kid gets a trampoline, ours has to have one too.  Having worked in a large law office for a while now, I constantly see people trying to look better, smell better, and have better things than the next person.  I have even had clients who are so obsessed (yes, obsessed) with beating the other party and winning loads of money in a lawsuit or are so paranoid that so-and-so is trying to steal from them/trying to cheat them out of their wealth. 

 The writer of Hebrews states in chapter 13 verse 5, “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”   Why are these people so frantic to get the new iPhone or newest laptop or car?  The one they have works perfectly fine.  Why are they wanting the newer, bigger thing?  Why are they trying so hard to “keep up with the Jones’s?”  It is a matter of contentment.

 
Are we truly content?  Society tends to frown upon, or make fun of, people who truly are content with very little.  In society’s eye, he who dies with the most toys wins, and it is easy for this attitude to creep into the church.  Even with very little in regards to the world’s wealth, “…I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” (Phil. 4:11)  But do we truly know how to be abased and abound? To be full and to be hungry? To suffer and to abound? (Phil. 4:12) Can we truly be these things and still be content?  Remember what our Lord said in Matthew 6:21, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”  Do we love the things of this world more than Christ and His church?  Are we content with whatever we have, whatever state of life we are in because we know that we have a far greater reward in heaven?

 Oftentimes people look at those who are less wealthy than us, or don’t have the latest and greatest gadget or clothes and some think how unfulfilled they must be.  But let us look inward at ourselves and search our hearts to see if we are truly content, whether we be rich or poor.  Or are we just racing to get the next big deal?  Where is our treasure?

Erin resides in Ben Wheeler Tx with her husband who preaches for the Ben Wheeler congregation. Erin has been involved with preparing and organizing the work of the church since she was a teenager by teaching all ages of Bibles classes, helping prepare and organize Ladies Days, Prom Alternatives, Youth Rallies and VBS.  She is currently works as a paralegal for a law firm. She and her husband also spend their time enjoying their sweet dog, chickens, ducks, quail…etc.  Life is never dull at her house.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! ...Time for Another Round of Resolutions....

~Tracy Frederick

Wohooo!!!!!
 It is a time of renewed hope for a better year and a better “me.” We will start our diets, set our sights on being a better friend, wife, mother....etc.  We will resolve to be a little kinder, a little more helpful; to take care of ourselves and put our priorities in the right place. It seems to me that everyone is a little peppier today, a little happier; that everyone smiles a little more. It is a new day full of hope. We get to start again. (well....sort of... you know...)

I am reading through the Old Testament again (I have grown to love the Old Testament dearly. It is my addiction.). But, no matter how often I read it, I never fail to be awed at the patience of our God. Over and over again ( Joshua 24,  I Kings 18, Micah 4, II Kings 22, etc.) the people 'resolve" to turn from their evil ways and serve their Lord.  And over, and over, and over again they don’t. But, He knew they wouldn’t, right? But, I am always amazed at God’s hope. He never, ever gave up on us...never changed His mind...never thought it was too hard...never...ever.

I couldn’t help but think of all of the resolutions we will make today and in the coming weeks....and all of those that we will abandon. Perhaps we will resolve to eat healthier, or maybe we will resolve to exercise more, or we might even resolve to read our Bible every day and spend a little more time in prayer. But...maybe we made those same resolutions last year.  I admit that I fear that we are no better than those Israelites who resolved.... and resolved.... and chose... and chose to put away their idols and serve God only to turn back to their old selfish ways ( Proverbs 22:11, 2 Peter 2:22 – God puts it in a more graphic way).

BUT, the fact that we woke up again this morning, as we did yesterday, and the day before is not happenstance. The sun didn’t just come up on its own. We face another year of hope, and are filled with the possibilities that the “new” year brings ONLY by the grace of our Father, only because of His lovingkindness, and ONLY because of His mercy. It is ONLY because of the patience of our Father and our Savior that we continue to exist on this planet (Col 1:17).  It isn’t our doing.  But, today is a great time to reflect and consider what we will do with the time He has offered us today....and tomorrow...and the next...IF He does. Each day is a good day for a resolution as long as God’s patience and mercy endures.

Just remember-- God never broke His resolution (....”therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed. Is 50:7)  His resolve saved us. Aren't we glad that He never forgot? Aren't we glad that He never grew tired of the plan? Aren't we glad that He never failed to stay focused on His resolution?

Josiah offers a great example that it is never too late for a resolution:
And the king sent, and they gathered unto him all the elders of Judah and of Jerusalem. And the king went up into the house of the LORD, and all the men of Judah and all the inhabitants of Jerusalem with him, and the priests, and the prophets, and all the people, both small and great: and he read in their ears all the words of the book of the covenant which was found in the house of the LORD.   And the king stood by a pillar, and made a covenant before the LORD, to walk after the LORD, and to keep his commandments and his testimonies and his statutes with all their heart and all their soul, to perform the words of this covenant that were written in this book. And all the people stood to the covenant. Josiah 23:1-3.

Now THAT sounds like the perfect resolution to me.

Picking Your Battles

~Tracy Frederick

One of the most valuable pieces of advice I received as a young mother was: “pick your battles.” The person who gave me that advice would never know that it became critical to how I parented, but probably not in the way the advice was given. She was offering me advice to just “give in” at times and to “not make the small things too much,” because there will be times when I will need the” nuclear war-heads” and if they are all used on the small battles, none will be left for the larger ones. I considered this advice well. You see, all who met our daughter realized pretty quickly that she was what some call a “strong-willed child.” I had some battles ahead for sure. But, I also knew that the battles I had ahead of me weren’t the important ones that that she meant. I thought a lot about that advice and my two year old. I panicked. I realized I did have a battle ahead of me a REAL battle,  a spiritual one, one that would never end for her, and the training had to begin, and begin NOW.

“…your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” I Peter 5:8.

My Father had already cared enough about our sweet little girl, our only child, to give His only child to die for her. He also cared enough for her to offer me the help I needed to arm her for the worst adversary of her life…never stop…never ever stop….ever…ever stop fighting for your child.

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength… “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.   You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. “ Deut 6: 4-8

My Father entrusted us with a sweet little soul. My job was to train her while she was entrusted to me and eventually give her back to her heavenly Father to enjoy His eternal comfort. My job was to not mess it up. My job then was to fight for her, and my job was to train her (Prov 22:6) for the biggest enemy she would ever face. My job was to fill her arsenal with supplies and weapons for the war she would have to face on her own, when I was no longer around to fight for her, or hold her hand when she was all alone with no one to “cover her back.” I wouldn’t be there at the scariest time of.  It was exhausting. Did I want to just let a battle go by once in a while? Did I sometimes consider that a “loss” in a battle could be “made up” later? Oh yeah. Would there be times when she would break the training? Sure. Are there times when she would make the wrong choices? I am sure of it.  But when I looked in those sweet bright blue eyes, eyes, I knew I could never give up, she needed me. Her enemy was watching and waiting to snag her….to destroy her. The battle will never go away and the enemy will never stop trying to destroy her….never. She needed me at two to protect her. I needed to train her at two so she could stand strong in her battle at twenty-two.

Purer in Heart, Oh God...Help Me to Be....

Purer in Heart Oh God, help me to be....Teach me to do thy will, most lovingly. Keep me from secret sin, reign thou my soul within. Purer in heart, help me to be....... I am working each day to think on what is pure- holy, without blemish and corruption. That was my reason for writing the article below- I started looking through scriptures to find what is pure and immediately saw that our Father commanded that the gold used for the tabernacle be "pure." I saw that He ordered the oil to be "pure." I started thinking....can He accept anything less than pure? That lead me to:" Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." Matt. 5:8. I guess I need to start working on my heart...I really...really....really want to see God, don't you?

~ Tracy Frederick

All Things

~Tracy Frederick

It is probably the most well-known scripture, along with John 3:16. We see it on the backs of football uniforms, posted on Facebook, splattered on bumper stickers and even etched into under eye make-up, or shoe polish…or whatever that stuff is that football players put under their eyes. I have even heard it used in conjunction with losing weight. I imagine that if we asked people, even atheists to tell us a scripture they know, this would be in the top five or three. It is popular, but the way I see it used I wonder if the person understands the struggle and personal sacrifice this verse speaks of to gain the strength needed to endure “all things.” So, …quote it with me…you know it: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” It is that “all things” part that is the sticky one. All things, huh? Well, we’ll see….

It is in this first chapter that sets the tone and the purpose for that popular one verse everyone is wearing:

v. 27-30: “Only let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of your affairs, that you stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel, and not in any way terrified by your adversaries, which is to them a proof of perdition, but to you of salvation, and that from God.  For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, having the same conflict which you saw in me and now hear is in me.”

Philippians, especially as of late, has become my go-to book. It instructs me to love no matter what; to endure no matter what; and to not let my own petty problems make me forget that my Savior gave up “all things” in heaven for us (Phil 2:7-8: “made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even death on the cross”).  Philippians is a hard book, it is about standing strong in the midst of suffering and hardships for Christ- those “things.” Paul promises that true believers (obedient in all things- Acts 2:38, Rom 6:4, I Pet. 3:21, Col 2:12, Rom 4:20, Rev 2:10), in Philippi (or anywhere/anytime) will never have a ticker tape parade for the cause of Christ, will never be given accolades on the football field for the goals of the gospel, and household chores, sparkling white whites are of no concern in bringing glory to God. That’s not “all things.” Christ revealed to Paul “all things” that he would suffer (see Acts 9).

So, once again the question is a tough one:  what “things” do we “do” that need “strengthening” (or “enable/make strong”)? Football/sports “things?” Tough laundry stain “things?” Sounds ludicrous when we put it that way, doesn’t it? So…what is it? What I love about the Bible is the way it answers questions about itself. Did you notice the opening of the book, in the first chapter? “let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ…steadfast in the spirit…striving for the faith of the gospel….not terrified by your adversaries…suffer for His sake….” Yeah, “allll of those “things.” That is what Christ will strengthen us for, “all of the things” that are worthy of suffering.” After all, if we aren’t suffering for the sake of our Lord, how can I call myself worthy of “all of the things” He sacrificed and suffered for me? I admit that I hope we need strengthening in “all things”…don’t you? It means we are suffering to be worthy in “all things.”

Peace...Be Still

~Tracy Frederick

In the storms of life, things can get perilous and very scary, even more so than the flooding, hurricanes and tornadoes that we experience here. It is just our material goods that are at stake and our lives here, not our souls. For me, it is the emotional storms that are so difficult to navigate. The pain and heartache of discouragement and temptations to just stop, hunker down and let the storm paralyze me. The winds of the world push and pull at us with other obligations, the dangerous lightening of temptations and the torrential  rain of discouragement can weaken and dampen our spirits. But remember, in the storm when Peter stepped out of the boat and walked in the rain, the wind and the lightening, as long as he kept his eyes on the Son, he was fine (Matt 24:29-33). When these difficulties in life come along, remember the one that can calm the storm and command the elements to “be still,” the one that the wind obeyed and the one that brings peace.  Remember: “Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.” Mark 4:39. I hope that whatever storms you might encounter today or tomorrow…or…whenever, you will look to the Son and feel the peace: “and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7.

Tracy is the wife of Greg who serves the Lord's church as an elder in Arkansas City, KS. She loves teaching her sweet girls in her 2-3 year old Bible class on Sunday morning and adores her preteen and teen girls in her Wednesday night Bible class. She tries to work in all aspects of the work of the church and grow her talents in new ways every day. She is encoruaged by wonderful spiritual sisters and brothers near and far who help her keep her walk on the straight and narrow Way.

Perfecting a Text

~Tracy Frederick

I picked up my phone this morning to start my usual routine. I send texts of encouragement to my sisters. Now, I don’t do this every day, but try to do it especially at the beginning of the week. I do it, just to let them know that someone is thinking of them and praying for them, but try not to get “stalkerish” with it. However, as I started to send the first text:” Good morning, sister, I hope it is a great week, I am thinking of you and praying for you!”, I stopped and thought about that statement. I know it is a good thing to do. I know it is a heartfelt thought of hoping that the week is smooth for them and there are few spiritual challenges and they don’t have to fight with the devil. You know, that basically it is “smooth sailing” this week. I thought about that and reconsidered. Humm….do I really hope it is smooth sailing? Is a “good week” one in which a Christian is not challenged or there are no bumps in the road? So, (those who know me well will not be surprised at this next statement) my mind started considering what the text says is a “good.” Let us consider quickly a verse we are all familiar with:

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,” James 1:2 (NKJ). No doubt, you all have heard many sermons on this specific verse. You probably know that “count” means: judge, consider. You are probably aware that “joy” means, delight. You might even know that “all” means every bit of it and “fall into” means surrounded by. We probably don’t even need to define “various” since we all know it means differing, or diverse. It is the “trials” part that we have difficulty with, but we all know it means temptations, or adversity.   

But, perhaps we stop there? The reason is the most important part…..WHY? It brings about patience (v. 3) and most importantly, that patience is what makes us “perfect and entire, wanting nothing” (v. 4).

Wow….wanting nothing. That’s what I want my sisters to feel, perfected, wanting nothing. I do want them to have a “great week,” but more importantly, I pray it is a week in which they will draw closer to God, their Creator, the maker of their heavenly home. That may mean they will have to go through trials and difficulties. (see also Rm 5:3, James 1:12,  James 5:11, I Peter 1:6). That means I will begin to pray for their strength to overcome and not so much a week free of problems. So, even though I will text them, perhaps I will add, or change the message to: I hope it is a perfected week in which we are wanting nothing. Besides isn't that better than "a great week?"

 

YOLO

~Erin Blair

For those of you who have Facebook accounts or have much knowledge of the internet, you may have seen a phrase that has floated around that a lot of young people are using.  That phrase is “YOLO.”  Many of you read that and may have though, “What does ‘YOLO’ mean?” and quickly rush to the Webster’s Dictionary to look it up only to see that it is not in there.  “YOLO” is the acronym for “You Only Live Once.”  It is often used whenever someone does something not very bright, such as run a stop sign or speed down the highway.  They also often say it when they do something very unwise such as drink and drive, have premarital sex, or experiment with drugs.  They use the excuse of “YOLO” as a reason to do whatever they want.  But is this an accurate way of thinking?

We find in Hebrews 9:27, “And as it is appointed unto men once to die,…” so you can say that yes, it is true that you only live once (“YOLO”).  But does that give us an excuse to do whatever we want?   The verse I just mentioned continues to say, “…but after this the judgment.”  Oftentimes, when someone uses the excuse of “YOLO”, they aren’t thinking of the consequences of their actions.  They aren’t thinking of the earthly consequences such as death, unwanted pregnancies, diseases, etc., and are most certainly not thinking about the eternal consequences of their actions.  A lot of the time they think, “Oh I’ll do such-and-such now, and ask forgiveness later.”  This is not the attitude a Christian should have (1 Cor. 6:12; Gal. 6:3).

Oftentimes when someone has the attitude of “YOLO”, they are only thinking of themselves; they are “in the moment” if you will.  They are thinking of the excitement of breaking the rules and running the risk of getting caught.  For many the thrill of danger lures them in and captivates them.  I mean, how many of us have seen that red button with the sign above it saying, “Don’t push this button!” and have not been tempted to push it?  Many get caught up in the excitement and adrenaline rush and throw “caution to the wind.”  But is this the attitude that Christ would have us wear?  Certainly not! 

When someone has the attitude of “YOLO,” they are usually only thinking of themselves.  They are usually not thinking of how their actions will affect others around them or people in the future.   Again, this is a destructive attitude for one to have (Matt. 19:30).  When someone does something with such reckless abandon, they typically are just thinking of making a name of themselves or advancing their personal status.  As Christ said in Matthew 19:30, “But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.” 

Like I said earlier, so many of our young people today use “YOLO” as an excuse to do whatever they want.  But is it really worth it?  Is it really worth it to sin and risk other souls because after all, “You Only Live Once.”

Erin is the wife of Jordan Blair and lives near Tyler, Texas. Erin teaches Bible class, helps with Ladies Days, has helped to coordinate teen activities and young women's activities.

Selfish Maintenance

~Nancy Goring

There is one thing in this life we need to be selfish about, and that is our soul. God gave each of us an eternal soul and He expects us to keep it for Him. Our soul requires maintenance. It must be nurtured and fed daily with the Word of God. Most folks maintain their homes and cars because they are important to them; needful. We try to keep our phones, TVs, appliances in top...-top shape, but so often we spend so much time taking care of the physical things in our lives that we forget the most important - the spiritual. If we do not take the time to do soul- maintenance, we are subject to a hardening of the heart and that is a killer - a spiritual killer. If we are not studying the Word of God daily, we will depart from the faith and our conscience can be seared (1 Timothy 4:2), causing us to be easily deceived by the devil. The result of this will cause us to lose our soul eternally. Just as the man who knows his physical house is falling down around him, is foolish for doing nothing to prevent disaster, so is the man/woman who allows their spiritual life to fall apart resulting in the worst disaster imaginable - that of losing one's soul to eternal damnation. When it comes to our soul that is one time we NEED to be selfish and put it ahead of everything else in this world. If we do not secure our own soul, how can we expect to teach others and save their souls?

 

Nancy is the wife of Bill Goring, who serves as a gospel preacher and elder for the Chipman Road church of Christ in Lee’s Summit, Missouri. She has 4 children, 11 grandchildren and has taught Bible class for over 40 years, speaks at Ladies Day gatherings and has published several books including: Behavior Becoming Holiness: Studies in Titus Chapter 2 and Overcoming our Self-Imposed Prisons.

A Reality Check of the Heart

~Tracy Frederick

I sat all alone in the rehab hospital waiting room wallowing in my irritation. I had driven the hour and a half only to have the appointment postponed and now I had to wait another half hour for the set of tests. Didn’t these people realize I had places to go and things to do? I sat there calculating how to juggle the days obligations that awaited me. The rescheduling would mean more stress to my already stressful day. I pulled my Ladies Bible class book from my computer bag and began to read and underlining the points I needed to emphasize. I couldn’t concentrate. How was I going to reschedule for another day?  Then, slowly, but steadily the waiting room filled. An older lady lovingly pushed her husband’s wheelchair into the waiting room and smiled at me sweetly as she parked his chair and eased herself into the chair next to him. A younger woman, close to my age guiding her husband into the waiting area as he took one small step after another, whispering to him all the way:“You’re doing great, sweetheart.” Next came the mother following her teenage daughter who leaned heavily on her cane, unable to use her left side. She looked me and said sweetly, “hello!” I smiled back- a little, starting to feel embarrassed for my thoughts, but still a little irritated. The waiting room was filling up, the wheelchairs came and went. I was finally left all alone with my thoughts. My irritation had calmed a bit, but I was still considering the inconvenience of the morning. Then SHE walked in. She was a young woman, maybe about 25 or so. She smiled at me when she rounded the corner, but there was a deep sadness behind her eyes. Her little blonde girl of about 3 years old could hardly contain her enthusiasm as she tugged at her mom’s hand jumping up and down squealing with laughter and then she looked right at me… and smiled. The characteristics of Down ’s syndrome were obvious. The mother patiently checked her daughter in as little girl grabbed at the pencils, the Kleenex box, the..whatever was on the receptionists desk. All the while the mother patiently pushed the girls hand away. Then, of all places, they sat down across from me. The mother reached into her diaper bag and pulled out the package of well-worn flash cards. One by one she showed the cards to her daughter as I imaged she did every day, maybe even several times a day, asking: “what’s that?” The little girl starred at the card, then back at her mother’s warm smile a little confused, but wanting to please and tried to make some sounds. The mother praised the child for any sound that was near whatever picture was on the card- a “c” sound for “car,” an “r” sound for “rug.” I started to think about the life expectancy of this child, the uncertainty this mother faced every morning, the heartache she felt as she looked into her precious daughter’s face each day, the amazing hope she must have to work so diligently with her daughter to make a sound. I took another look at the clock on the wall and couldn’t remember what was so pressing. I bowed my head in shame….lesson learned. I hope you realize the wonderful blessings our Lord has offered us this day, and each day- a beautiful child, medical care, a spouse to love.....and eternal riches in a home built by our Savior for those who obey. My mind turned to: "How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you” Psalm 31:19.

Faking It with Building Materials and Service to God

~Tracy Frederick

We made a last minute change of plans for lunch and decided to turn around. The unexpected u-turn put us driving through one of the most “exclusive” suburb in town. As we traveled through the streets adjacent to the golf courses, we admired the homes at first, and then we realized the homes all looked really nice from the front, but they all had “facades.” Façade means: the way something or somebody appears on the surface, especially when that appearance is false or meant to deceive.  That is, the front had brick, or stone, but the sides and the back, were just siding. People are supposed to admire the front, but not look at the sides or the back.  It reminded me of an old friend we visited recently who could not wait to show us his big new house. The home was nice, but it had faux wood floors and faux stone. He was very proud that few people could tell the difference, although we did right away.  Now, don’t misunderstand me, I am not criticizing and understand budget constraints that happen when building a house. But as I looked at the façade homes, I thought about our Christianity and how we often go to great lengths to make ourselves “look” like Christians to others, thinking we can fool them into believing we are the real deal. We may even live in fear that others will find us out. But, they probably already know, right? However, the most important One that can see past it all, past all of the façade has known all along. We do it, but it never works, does it? We can’t fake it with God: “I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind…” Jer. 17:10. It seems to me that we are living in a world right now that sells us on the idea that a similar/fake thing is just as good as the real one. We all know that isn’t true, but when it comes to figuring out the budget, we sometimes buy into the idea that a fake is just as good to save some bucks. Perhaps we are also buying into that idea when it comes to our service to our Lord…you know…to save a few bucks (time, energy, etc.)   Remember when our God was angry with the Israelites because they were offering unclean sacrifices (Malachi 1; Lev 22) Facades are ok when it comes to our homes, maybe, but our service to our God, can’t be faked on a budget.

Stop Drop and......PRAY!

~Tracy Frederick

There are just some days that are overwhelming aren’t there? There are days when the hurt and the pain is just too much to bear.  We often sing a familiar song- My Jesus Knows. In that song we encourage each other that our Savior understands our emotional pain and can empathize with our weaknesses and the sufferings we have here on this earth. What a comfort that is to know that “we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but in all points was tempted like we are, but was without sin” Hebrews 4:15. It is the first part that is comforting, but the last that causes me to pause and tremble.  I find that when I am at my most emotional, I am at my most vulnerable. When I am hurting, I am looking for a quick way out. When I am emotional I am less rational and more willing to act without thinking. So, how was our Savior was able to withstand the emotions of hurt when betrayed by a best friend (Mk 14:66-72), the rejection of the world (Mk 15:6-15)? Notice each and every time our Savior was in a difficult situation, an emotional situation, or knew He was about to be, He prayed; He stopped, dropped His head and prayed. We teach our children that to stop themselves from burning, physically, they should stop, drop and roll. We preach it over and over again. I think it is a good idea to teach our children the same to avoid eternal fire- stop, drop and pray. We know that if the Evil One has no qualms about tempting the Lord, (I mean seriously!) he looks upon us as easy prey. Our Savior knew the solution to the temptation- STOP what you are doing NOW! DROP your head and humble yourself, realizing you are the created and need help! PRAY for forgiveness and wisdom to discern what is needful. Such an easy answer to any problem. And the example was there all along.

So much in a sigh....

~Tracy Frederick

I have been reading about our Lord's life again. I can’t help but be overwhelmed with the difficult life our Savior had while He humbled himself to living among us, His creation that rejected Him.  As I do, there is one verse that just won’t let go of my heart, just won’t go away.  “But He sighed deeply in His spirit, and said, “Why does this generation seek a sign? Assuredly, I say to you, no sign shall be given to this generation.” Mark 8:12. I reread this passage again and again. I had read it many times before, but had never caught the beginning of this verse like I did this time. Did you catch it? It says: “But He sighed deeply in His Spirit…” The previous verses talks about how the Pharisees were seeking a sign from heaven to test Him, to catch Him in a trap. You see, He had just fed four thousand people with seven loaves and a few fish.  Wouldn’t that have been enough? Really? They needed more? He had healed countless people, had relieved the mentally tormented from demons and had asked for nothing in return.  I think about my own life and others. We go throughout our busy day and when troubles arise, we petition our Father for help when financial problems arise, physical ailments and diseases plague our dying bodies, beg for our loved ones to be healed and petition for His mercies.  We lean on Him and He is there to comfort and offer hope. I wonder however, as I watch so many rejoice in the blessings the Father has showered down on us and how we too often fail to fulfill our commitment to Him. I think about how we struggle to accept ALL of His word and even through all of the blessings, struggle to believe. I mean, really believe, believe enough to obey with our whole heart, not just conform when it is easy and convenient, not just when we need a favor and then forget our belief when all is well. I think of all of the signs He has given us everyday and how we are so reluctant to conform to His will and I wonder…..is He sighing?

Meditations on Heart Surgery

~Tracy Frederick

I suppose all of us have heard, or had a loved one who has suffered through some kind of heart proceedure. It is no longer uncommon. You may have even seen a replica of the act on some medical television drama, or a news report. The surgeon opens the chest, has a magnified screen and carefully goes through the arteries and considers each part of the heart, checking for blood flow, damage and any obstacles that might hinder it working properly. We know how critical the surgeon is. Without the skill of a good surgeon, something might be missed, something might go wrong and that would mean death for the patient. For many without lifesaving modern medicine of heart surgery, life would end too soon, or the quality of life would suffer dramatically. But, it is not something we ask for, not something we go to our physician and say: "Hey, can you cut me open and check out my heart for me, just in case." But, that is exactly what David did in Psalm 139. Considered David's plea to the Lord for heart surgery: "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24?

If we consider these verses carefully we find that in the original language here (châqar) that David wants God to “penetrate” or “examine intimately” his heart.  He is asking God to “try” his heart. That is, test it and try it so his heavenly Father and Creator can “know,” (yâda‛) or be sure, of a surety, of his anxieties and fears. He then asks God to  “lead” (nâchâh) or govern, guide him to “everlasting” (‛ôlâm  ‛ôlâm), or eternity.The boldness, humbleness and confidence found in these verses continues to sit on my heart. I keep asking myself:  Would I be bold enough to ask this of God? Do I really want Him to search my heart? ALLL of my heart, even the deepest recesses of it where it is all dirty, even those closets I like to keep locked?  Too often I ask for God to not test my heart, to leave it alone and give me ease in my life. I prefer to have no problems, to not be tested, to be comfortable. I wonder if we prefer to keep our hearts hidden from God. I also wonder if we realize He already knows the intimate recesses of our heart. Usually, we focus on the outward "stuff," the "stuff" others see, and forget that God sees all and knows all, even our deepest and darkest secrets (I John 3:20). BUT, we can take comfort in the last part of these group of verses, verse 24. David asks God to "lead me in the way everlasting."

Sure, heart surgery can be painful and the recovery can take a while, but is one that focuses on reflection and change in behavior and diet. For those with serious heart problems, it is necessary to ensure quality and quantitity of life here on this earth, something we hold so precious. But, itsn't it more important that we consider our "spiritual" heart's health? It is this heart that will lead us to our eternal home. So, let us not be afraid to ask God to search our hearts. Let us take some time for some serious soul and heart cleaning, humbling ourselves before the one who gave us this heart, and boldly ask Him to search our hearts, open it, examine it, check it out so He may lead us to our eternity. I am persuaded that it is not until we are able to ask Him to open us up, examine us and consider what we need to adjust that we share that great intimacy David had with the Father. It is only after our heart surgery that we can be clean, that we can have confidence and complete peace.

The Christian and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

~ Erin Blair

When I was a child I remember having a book called “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.” In this book, a boy named Alexander goes throughout his day and nothing seems to go right.  He went to sleep with gum in his mouth and woke up with it in his hair.  He accidently dropped his sweater in the sink filled with water.  Everywhere he turns, something goes wrong, even having to eat lima beans for supper.  I’m sure we have all had days like this where nothing seems to go right and we are met with more brick walls then doors.  I don’t know about you, but on days where nothing seems to work in my favor I tend to get down in the dumps and upset.  Who doesn’t have bad days where they just want to shut their bedroom door and shut out the world?  But is this the attitude that a Christian should have?  Should a person confessing to be a New Testament Christian be depressed and down about a “bad” day? 

I was recently discussing this very topic with my husband a few weeks ago, and he helped me in figuring out and studying what the Bible has to say about what a Christian’s attitude should be in “negative” situations.  As we look out into the world, we see so many bad things that we possibly think, “What can I do about it?”  Sometimes we feel so small and insignificant and don’t see how the problems in the world could be fixed.  We need to remember what Jesus told us in John 16:33, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” What a conqueror!  Jesus has already overcome and mastered the world, so we don’t need to worry about what problems the world holds, it ultimately doesn’t matter.

But sometimes we are faced with problems that may seem too big, or too hard that we see no possible way to get past it.  It is easy in these situations to stress out or lose sleep over these problems, trying to fix them and not remembering our Lord who is our strength.  David knew this well when he wrote Psalm 18:2 “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”  Sometimes we are tested with trials that seem too much to bear and we think, “Why would God allow this to happen to me?”  and we forget “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13) 

Oftentimes when we are having a “bad” day, we are focused on us.  We oftentimes say things such as, “Why did this happen to me?” or “I’m having a bad day.” or “My day couldn’t get any worse.”  We are often selfish and prideful when we are focused on our “bad” day.  We are not thinking about those in need, the widows are who are finishing this walk through life without their spouse, those orphans who have no spiritual leader or guide, or those who have nothing.  It would do us good to sit back and zoom-out and see the world in a bigger picture.  When we are focused on our problems, we forget all the good things in life.  We forget that the sun is shining, or a much needed rain is falling during a drought, the birds are singing, we have a worldwide spiritual family that loves us, and (most importantly) we have a Savior that died for us.  After considering all these things, and there are more depending on your situation in life, are the “bad” days a really “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad” day?  Considering all that the Christian has going for them, (a home in Heaven, spiritual family, etc.) we as Christians should be the happiest people on earth!  After all, we have a peace that passes understanding (Philippians 4:7) and have a hope that those in the world do not (1 Peter 3:15).  

I am not saying that we will never have bad days, but the important thing is how to handle it.  We should handle our “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad” days as a Christian should, with joy (James 1:2-3) and with a positive attitude knowing that everything will be okay (Romans 8:28).

Erin is the wife of Jordan Blair who preaches for the New Madrid church of Christ in New Madrid, MO. Erin currently teaches the teen girls class and has helped with preparing and working with church activities like Ladies Days, Prom Alternatives, Youth Rallies and VBS. She is currently working as a paralegal for a law firm.

Trying to Figure out How to Deal with your Challenge? RUN!!!

Are you trying to figure out how to take on the challenges in life? Are you trying to figure out how to deal with all of the problems? RUNNN!!!!! That is, face them head-on sisters! Remember, the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel is on YOUR side, what can you fear? Whatever challenge you face is dust in the hands of the almighty.

"Then David said to the Philistine, “You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you and take your head from you. And this day I will give the carcasses of the camp of the Philistines to the birds of the air and the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel. Then all this assembly shall know that the Lord does not save with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord’s, and He will give you into our hands. So it was, when the Philistine arose and came and drew near to meet David, that David hurried and ran toward the army to meet the Philistine." I Samuel 17: 45-48.

~Tracy Frederick

Do Not Speak Evil of One Another

~ Amy Brown

Do not speak evil of one another, brethren.  He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law.  But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law, but a judge. –James 4:11

Do not speak evil of one another.  James doesn’t qualify this statement, does he?  He doesn’t say, “don’t speak evil of another unless it’s true”, or “don’t speak evil of one another except when the person deserves it”.  No, James, through divine inspiration, says DO NOT speak evil of one another, brethren.  Period.  How often do we speak words about another that we should not and then try our best to justify it?  How about when we preface such words with, “now I’m not gossiping”, as if by saying it’s not gossip will somehow make it so?

 So what exactly is “speaking evil”?  It includes any manner of ill talk.  I find that a good litmus test is to stop and think about whether you would want the person you are speaking about to know what you are saying, or if you would be happy if someone were saying the same kinds of things about you.

 Scripture has much to say about the subject.  In Proverbs we learn what a backbiting tongue brings forth:

The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue an angry countenance.  -Proverbs 25:23

In both I Timothy and II Thessalonians we learn of those who were speaking things they should not have been:

 And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not.-I Timothy 5:13

 For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies.-II Thessalonians 3:11

 Peter reinforces the thought in James as he instructs us not to be busybodies:

 But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, and evildoer, or as a busybody in other people’s matters.-I Peter 4:15

 We’ve all heard the old adage:  Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.  There is not one person who doesn’t know that statement is false.  Words can and do cause much damage, especially when directed at a brother or sister in Christ.  They take seconds to say, but the damage can last a very long time.  Please stop and consider your words.

To speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing humility to all men.-Titus 3:2

Amy is the wife of one of the minsters at the Hiram Church of Christ and currently teach the teen girls there. They have no children yet, so she is very thankful for the opportunity to share God's Word with the children of others.