The Blessing of Forgetting...and Remembering

~Tracy Frederick

The sounds of the storm, among other things cause another sleepless night. As I listen to the rain outside and storm blowing and try to quiet my brain to catch a few more hours of sleep, I pray. I pray for others who I know are hurting, for those who are facing challenges to their faith and those who have not yet found their Lord. My mind races from one to another, but included in those prayers first and foremost is my own inadequacies. It is in these quiet moments of night, and sometimes during the strangest moments of the day that a memory will appear. Sometimes it is welcome one, but often it is a reminder of something that I have done that I would rather forget, something that is shameful, and something that hurt my Master or the times that I have failed to do what I knew to be right and good. Each of these memories follow with a flood of regret, remorse and usually another short prayer for forgiveness, even though I know He has long ago forgiven me. So, this night as I pondered those memories and try to push them away I was thinking of why it is so hard to do that; why is it so hard to forget? I pray for peace from the regrets, but then I began to think about the comfort that comes from knowing that my Lord has no such recollection of those things that I seem to be unable to let go of. 

I contemplate the soul-soothing comfort that comes with godly forgiveness.  It is so much different from human forgiveness.  We all know what forgiveness means, the biblical use of the word is to “cast away” or “spare” from a punishment.  Each of us have asked for it from a friend, even asked us of when someone cuts in line at the grocery store or interrupts a conversation, but we may all too often remember it again when another person tries to do the same. Perhaps we take offense even more, since it has been done before, right? The problem is that we remember.  The most comforting thing I contemplate this night while praying for wisdom and peace is that my God does not.  “For  I will be  merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more” (Hebrews 8:12)  “And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more” (Hebrews 10:17).  Isaiah paints a great picture of what our God does with our forgiven sins: “… thou hast in love to my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption:  for  thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back.” (38:17). As I contemplate how hard it is for me to forget the things I’ve done, I have wondered about my God and how He is able to forget. After all, He isn’t a “forgetting” God. He remembered His promises to Abraham, even when he and Sarah had given up hope (Gen 12:1-3). He remembered His promise to His people when they thought He had turned His back (Ex 2:23). He remembered His promise He gave to me at the beginning of the world (Gen 3).

Yeah, I have a hard time understanding and forgetting. But, then again maybe it isn’t so bad that I remember. Maybe it is a good thing that from time to time as I go through my day, or on a dark stormy night my past offenses come back.  It is only because I remember, and feel remorse again for the pain I have caused that reminds me to hold onto the grace and peace that He offers.

It has been a long night already and tomorrow will be a longer day, but it is a great comfort knowing that tomorrow can be filled with peace; that if we are in Christ (Rom 6:4) we can have the grace (I John 1:7) and peace (Phil 4:7) of knowing God has forgotten.

The Faith to Touch the Hem

~Tracy Frederick

She was tired, no doubt, worn out from the daily routines of life as most women were, but even more so in her situation. Most likely she had no one to offer a comforting shoulder to cry on. It wasn’t possible, the law didn’t allow it; she was “unclean.”  “Unclean” was a word necessary to maintain the health of the people, but struck fear in the hearts of those who knew what it meant-- ostracism. Under the old law, no one could touch her, or anything she had touched (Lev 15: 25-27). The loneliness must have been overwhelming. Furthermore, it had been twelve years; twelve years of going from doctor to doctor and subjecting herself to one treatment after another, enduring embarrassment and unsuccessful treatments—“she had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse.”  The heartache and worry must have overcome her …and no one could help; no one could comfort, and all of her money was gone  (Mk 5:26) .

Jesus had been traveling about the region healing and had casting out demons (Mk 5:1-24, Lk 8:1-42, Matt. 9 1-19). He was a busy man and in demand, “the crowd thronged Him” (MK 5:24, Lk 8:42). In fact, when He arrived, an important man from the synagogue came to worship Him, Jairus, and desperately needed a favor- his daughter was dying (Mk 5:22-24). The man was important, and she was a woman and an unclean one at that. Perhaps this woman stood afar off and contemplated the consequences of her actions- the risk of being in a crowd; interrupting Jesus with a synagogue leader. Perhaps she stood back a bit, her heart pounding; feeling the blood flowing from her body with each beat of her heart. Perhaps she took a moment to contemplate the crowd that separated her from her Savior until she finally convinced herself to do it…take a chance… “If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well” (Mk 5: 28, Matt 9:21). I wonder about this great woman of faith: Did she try to ball herself up as tightly as possible so as not to risk making others unclean and suffer the consequences? Did she hide herself until the last possible moment knowing others might recognize her as unclean? Did she drop to her knees in the dust and dirt trying desperately to stretch out her hand as far as possible…perhaps even through the legs of others to reach Him? Were her hands, her fingers stepped on? Was dirt kicked in her face as she tried in desperation to not lose sight of the RIGHT garment; her eyes fixed on the RIGHT hem? She felt immediate healing when she finally touched it. I wonder how her eyes must have welled-up in happiness.

Then He turned to look for her. She must have been shocked. It was only a hem, right? She only dared touch His garment; she never touched HIM, and there were so many others around, right? But He knew. “The woman, fearing and trembling, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth” (Mk 5: 33). She was afraid. She was unclean. Then He talked to her, looked right at her-- encouraged her…..and called her daughter (Matt 9:22, Lk 8;48, Mtt 9:22). (Note: This is the only time that I see Jesus calling someone “daughter”. )

The account, this small, little seemingly insignificant account of a desperate woman is found in three of the four gospels (Matthew 9, Mark 5, Luke 8). It is an account that we might often overlook. It is just a woman with an illness; it is just a small miracle in the midst of the raising of the dead and the casting out of demons. But, I believe it must be very important for our Father to, through the Holy Spirit, inspire the writers to include it so often. For some time I’ve been considering the depth of faith one must have to please our Lord, the depths of humbleness to which one must  be willing to go to/through, to” reach” our Lord, the desperation and the risks we are willing to take to make our lives, our sin-sick souls whole- only through Him and I keep coming back to this woman, this unclean woman who fell to her knees and crawled on the ground through the dust and the crowd--with great risk-- and the belief and faith she had knowing  that she only needed to touch the hem.  

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

~Tracy Frederick

I admit that I really don’t like mirrors. I guess that is not uncommon for a 48 year old woman. A few weeks ago my husband and I were watching a television show and began discussing how old a singer looked, we felt sorry for her, but then we learned that she was actually two years younger than us. We paused….silence…then slowly turned to look at each other for a moment when my husband said, “you don’t think we actually look as old as she does, do you?” I assured him that we were much more well preserved and that we couldn’t possibility look that old. That began a thought process for me. I started noticing others my age looking older…and older. “Those poor ladies” I thought to myself; I felt sorry for them. Then it happened. I spend a little time in front of the mirror. I noticed the crop of grey hair (my sweet husband calls them my “wings”), the sagging double chin, the extra lines on my face. It was a reality check. I began to think about moisturizing more, a new hair cut, etc.  But, the idea of self examination in a spiritual way became more significant when a day or so later I heard a sister criticize another sister for a spiritual flaw. I quickly began to think about my pesky mirror. Our Father likes mirrors:  “For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror;  for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was.” James 1: 22-24. Our Father’s instructions are clear, we must be aware of our own flaws first and foremost. Jesus explained it this way:  “Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brother’s eye” Luke 6:42.  Each of these passages tells us to consider our own situations before we start to criticize others. That is the obvious lesson here and one we’ve heard before. But, I would also ask you to consider that there is another lesson here: empathy. You will recall in John 8 our Savior wrote something in the sand when the adulterous woman was to be stoned by the scribes and the Pharisees. Sermons have been built around the wonderings of what He wrote in the sand. But our Father chose not to tell us, so it must not have been important, or maybe even our business. What was important was what He said. He spoke to the sins of all who were there- the woman He told her to stop it, and as for the accusers, He and asked them to look in a mirror “He who is without sin among you, cast the first stone.” However, what is too often ignored is their response: “those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last” v 8.  It is as if they took a look, saw their own wrinkles, grey hair, and saggy double chin and realized their own inadequacies.
I don’t care for mirrors, for many reasons, but they have a purpose. However, for those who are followers of Christ the most important mirror of all is the perfect law of liberty that with our obedience has the power to transform. But only if we are willing to look into it, the word and inward into our hearts for a glorious transformation that will never decay:  “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory”

The BEST Weight Loss Plan

~Tracy Frederick

It seems I can hear a collective sigh of relief today. So many have suffered through so much this past year and are looking forward to a fresh start this year. Others are planning significant changes in their lives as they try to improve themselves physically. Today, the last day of the year, it seems to many that the opportunities and possibilities are endless. However, as I’ve reflected on this last day of the year, I have thought more and more about how it is just like any other day, a day of possibilities and a day of redemption. While so many use the first day of the new year to make changes and improve themselves, our God, our all-merciful and loving God, gives us a new start each day, each day. How great is that? If we are His children (I John 5:2, Gal 3:27) , each day we get a chance to do it better!  Seriously! “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins” Isaiah 43:25. It can’t get any better than this! As I reflect on this past year, I hold onto regrets- missed opportunities, times when I failed my Lord and my family, times when I should have, but didn’t and times when I did and shouldn’t have. As I look forward to this year and reflect on the last, make plans for the future, how can I not include a plan to be more perfect for my Father who is so merciful to me? I cannot forget my sins, and probably that is a good thing, but the comfort in knowing that my Father doesn’t hold it against me as I beg for His mercy and forgiveness, He casts those sins behind Him a forgets…really forgets,  is perfect peace. It allows me to move forward and leaving the horrible weight of my embarrassment and shame behind me. It is the best weight-loss plan I know.