Gross out Your Kids!!

~Erin Blair

For those of you who do not know, I am pregnant with our first child who is due in August. This was unplanned for as many of you know, we are planning to adopt. But nevertheless, we are excited to welcome this new blessing into our lives and couldn’t be happier. But, as we plan and prepare and discuss how to raise this child, there is something we keep coming back to: we plan to “gross out” our children.

It’s a cute, funny scene whenever mommy and daddy hug or give a quick peck on the lips, the kids immediately exclaim: “Ewwwww! That’s gross!” And oftentimes, it seems to me at least, parents shy away from PDA in front of the kids because they don’t want to gross them out, make them uncomfortable, or “scar” them. This lack of PDA then can lead to a lack of affection even in private.

When we show affection towards our husbands in front of the kids (and of course I’m talking PG rated affection), we illustrate Song of Solomon 1:2, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—For your love is better than wine.” We show our kids how important their father is to us and how much we love him. There is deep security in children knowing their mommy and daddy love each other deeply, especially in an age where divorce is commonplace. I remember when I was a child and all my friend’s parents were divorced; I was scared mine would. But, when I saw my parents hug or kiss, or my dad take care to pull a splinter of glass out of my mom’s foot, it assured me that they would not because they loved each other. 

We also need to remember 1 Corinthians 7:5, “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” Do not deprive yourselves in front of your kids! Show them that mommy and daddy delight in one another (Song of Solomon 4) and still show their love physically. It will also show your children how a marriage should be – loving, caring and fun! They will remember how their mom and dad kissed, hugged and held one another when it is time for them to find a spouse. If it grosses them out when they are three, they’ll get over it by the time they are six because that is the norm! That’s what mommy and daddy’s do! 

So, be great parents, gross out your kids! Show them what a good, healthy, rock-solid, fun Christian marriage is! They will have precious memories of their parents love when they are older and realize it wasn’t really so gross.

Erin resides in Ben Wheeler TX with her husband, Jordan. Erin has been involved with preparing and organizing the work of the church since she was a teenager by teaching all ages of Bibles classes, helping prepare and organize Ladies Days, Prom Alternatives, Youth Rallies and VBS.  She is currently works as a paralegal for a law firm. She and her husband also spend their time enjoying their garden, dogs, rabbits, chickens, ducks, quail…etc.  Life is never dull at her house. 

Women—As God Would Have Us (Pt. 1)

~Veronica Brown

 (Republished from 2011) 

In preparation for our Tuesday night Ladies Bible Class this week we read about various women from the book of Genesis—Eve, the daughters of men, Noah’s daughters-in-law, Sarah, Hagar, and the women in Lot’s life.[1] Then in our class together we tried to glean from their lives a small sample of what God would have us to learn from His record of their lives in history. So for this article (and for part two of this article later) I’d like to focus briefly on these women in order to encourage us to be the kind of women God wants us to be.

Beginning with Eve, the mother of all living, we learn just how important we are as women. God took special care in creating woman and we must take special care in maintaining that which God carefully constructed. Our roles as women are unique—we hold very sacred responsibilities as helpers who will be suitable for our husbands and as mothers who will be nurturers for our children. We are not the leaders of our homes but we are the keepers of them (Titus 2:5). And with this great privilege comes a great responsibility that must never be taken lightly. Consequently, we also learn from Eve how very real sin is and that its effects are serious. Sin robbed Eve of her purity, her innocence, and her life with God. The wages of sin is indeed death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord (Rom. 6:23). God be thanked that through Jesus Christ we can be delivered from this body of death (Rom. 7:24-25)!

Next we looked at the “daughters of men” as referenced in Genesis 6. The “sons of God” took for themselves these daughters of men to be their wives and from the context we know that this was not a good thing in God’s eyes. Why not? The answer seems to be in the distinct phraseology God uses to distinguish between these two groups of people. The sons of God would have been those who were following their ancestor’s (and thus God’s) instruction from the beginning—beginning with Adam, followed by Seth, and so on. The other group, the daughters of men, had not adhered to their Creator’s instruction but instead followed in the footsteps of Cain, who “went out from the presence of the Lord” (Gen. 4:16). And so in Genesis 6 we see the two coming together and God was not pleased. It seems that the principle here applies to us today. “Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?” (James 4:4). “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (II Cor. 6:14). Therefore, God says, “come out from among them and be separate….and you shall be My sons and daughters” (II Cor. 6:17-18). May we strive daily to be set apart, sanctified, and separate as the daughters of God and not entangled, intertwined, and blended together with the world as the daughters of men!

Continuing in Genesis 6 we looked next at Noah’s daughters-in-law and tried to imagine what it must have been like to be three of only eight people saved from the flood. These three women were part of a small minority preparing to witness the destruction of the massive majority of humanity. These three women were willing to be counted among the few even though it meant giving up all that they had ever known. Does the same God require any less of us today? Jesus said, “So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple” (Lk. 14:33). Those are difficult words—difficult to grasp and difficult to obey—but they’re true and they’re for our good. The same God who called Noah and his family out of a sinful world and into the vessel of salvation is the same God who calls us out of darkness into His marvelous light (I Pet. 2:9). May we, like these three women, have faith enough and the will enough to enter His ark of salvation and be counted among the few for Christ (Mt. 7:14)!

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[1] Some of our ladies at Farmersville are currently involved in the Digging Deep in God’s Word study formulated by Cindy Colley. Currently, we are reading through her book “Women of the Genesis.” We discussed these women from the first six chapters of her book in our last class.

eronica is blessed to be the wife of Clint Brown. Clint currently preaches for the Farmersville church of Christ in north Texas. She is also blessed to be a stay at home mom to two boys, Jeremy (17) and Joshua (15). She has been a preacher's wife, Bible class teacher, missionary, and a host of other things for the Lord for these past 18 and she's thankful for every moment God uses to mold her into His image.

Self-Esteem

~Erin Blair

It is an issue that plagues millions of people today.  Many struggle with their self-esteem, or lack thereof.  I have only heard one sermon in my entire life on this subject.  What does the Bible and God say in regards to our self-esteem and self worth?

First let’s look at ourselves. The appraisal we make of ourselves can be grossly inflated (Rom. 12:3; Prov. 16:18) or deflated.  I once knew a man who was a member at the congregation where my husband and I were married.  He was so humble – to a fault.  He knew he needed to be humble and that is all good and great, but he took it to the point of stating, “I am just a waste of human flesh.”  His self-esteem was so low!  My husband turned to him and said, “You were made in the image of God!”  How true that is! When we have such a low view of ourselves, when we think we are worthless or no-good or can’t do anything right and even (shall I daresay) call ourselves “stupid,” are we not degrading and insulting a person made in the image and likeness of God? 

 We are made in the image and likeness of God which give us tremendous value (Gen. 1:26-27; 9:6)!  This, of course, does not mean that we are physically like God, for God is a spiritual being (John 4:24).  But the “image” spoke of here consists of spiritual qualities in man’s mental and moral attributes as a self-conscious, rational, personal agent, capable of self-determination and obedience to moral law.  We should always consider this unique honor that is the Creator has given us by granting us certain qualities that are central to His nature.   

 God’s view of us, of course, is accurate in every detail and He does not care if we wear the latest fashion or if we are over or under weight.  “But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7) 

 Another reason for us to have high self-esteem is that God gave us a gift that is far more precious than anything that has been or ever will be given us – His Son.  This gives us a chance at redemption, a chance at spending eternity with our Creator.   Our soul that God gave us is precious (Luke 15).  The parables in Luke 15 (The Lost Sheep, The Lost Coin, The Lost Boy) all show us and emphasize that we have great value and worth in the eyes of God.  These parables point out time and time again that the worth of a single soul – our soul- is of far more value than anything in the world (Matt. 16:26). 

 
There are two things that determine value in life: (1) the past owner of the item; and (2) what someone is willing to pay for the item.  God has owned us because He created us, and Jesus paid a hefty price for us at the cross (John 10:11).  What greater boost to our self-esteem than that! We are indeed precious.  Peter describes Christians in 1 Peter 2:9-10 as a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people and a forgiven people.  This gives us great value indeed! 

What if God.....

~Tracy Frederick

It seems so complicated doesn’t it? At least I think we make it that way. Recently I sent a dear sister a text asking for scriptures and some spiritual advice about a topic that I’ve struggled with for a long time.  It seems so complex to me. But, her answer was pretty simple: “ I always just  think of God...He ....”  It was that opening to a short sentence that pointed to “What would He do? How does He deal with this situation?” That makes sense, right? And it is pretty simple. Our Savior said that His followers would know the Father if they knew Him (Matt 11:27; Lk. 10:22, John 7:29 etc.). Paul told the Corinthians to imitate him as he imitated the Son  (I Cor. 11:1; 4:16; Phil 3:17; I Thess. 1:6).hummm ...nothing complex about it.  But, as with any good spiritual question, the answers led me to exam things a little deeper. I know that I am to imitate Him in all things, but ....what if He imitated me? So, I started considering......what if God were more like us...?

What if God.... talked about others like we do? .....behind their back? ...complained about others in gossip and slander?

“But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.”  Matthew 12:38 (see also: James 4:11, 12; James 5:7,9; James 5:10; James 3:6)

What if God..... treated others the way we do? What if God played favorites?

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:27 (see also: Romans 3:22; Galatians 3:26; Ephesians 2:14)

What if God....was as selfish as we are? What if He cared as much about His own comforts as we do?....would He have given His son for us?

“But God commends his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8  (see also: John 15:13;  Romans 4:25; Romans 5:6; John 3:16; Eph 5:2 ; I John 4:19)

What if God...took us as seriously as we take Him?  Would we be ok with Him “fitting us into His schedule” when it was convenient?  What if He was too busy for us?

 “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. Matthew 6:24   (see also: Gal 1:10; James 4:4)

What if God....... loved us as much as we love Him? I mean...real love- sacrificial, all our heart and  our being willing to give anyone and everyone up for Him....everything and everyone (Matt. 10:37)....yep...that agape love.

“...He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”  Hebrews 13:5  –He has never forsaken the faithful.   (see also:  Joshua 1:9; Isaiah 43:2; Ex 13:21; Deut 4:31; Deut. 31:6).

What if God was more like us...would He have given His Son to die for us? 

“For God so loved the world that He gave....” John 3:16. (Romans 8:32; Hebrews 2:9; I John 4:9; Rev 1:5)

These questions are absurd aren’t they? I mean, God is...well...GOD! He isn’t us, and that is the best part- He isn’t selfish like we are.....but He did make us to be His glory didn’t He? ouch....And...didn’t He ask us to love with an agape love? So, are we?  I think we allow ourselves the “out” to be selfish, unkind and unloving by saying...”we aren’t God!”  Or, “He knows I’m not perfect!” I’ve heard people use these kinds of statements as an excuse for bad behavior. But, we cannot deny that  He has given us all that we need to know to be like Him, or at least less like other humans:  “Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, ³as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue,  by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.”  II Peter 3:2-4.

Then He not only told us, but He showed us how to do it: ” For we have not a high priest who cannot be touched with the feeling of our weaknesses; but was in all points tempted like we are, yet without sin.” Hebrews 4:15.

When we break it down, it really isn’t so complicated, is it? He took us- selfish, unloving, unkind and without hope and simplified it by offering His unselfish, loving, kind and compassionate Son for us. But, what if God....were like us? Would He have done that? Would He have followed through? Aren’t we glad that He isn’t like us?  Isn’t it time that we weren’t either?

Feminine or Feminist?

~Erin Blair

Our society today, especially with the feminist movement, has taught a skewed version of how a woman should be.  She should be a strong and independent woman “who don’t need no man.”  But is this Biblical?  Is society’s teaching of a brash and prideful woman what God had in mind when he created woman (Gen. 2:22)?  Are women in the Lord’s church to be callous and degrading of their brothers?

I overheard one day a woman telling her friend, “Yeah, he’s just another paycheck coming in.”  She was saying this about her husband! I was appalled at her poor outlook on her husband.  I have also heard the saying, “A husband is a person who, after having taken out the trash, gives the impression of cleaning the whole house.”  We laugh at these antics and brush them off, not giving them a second thought.  But this is what the society we live in is molding our daughter’s minds into thinking that women are the rulers of the house and we have to keep men under our thumb?  But what about what God has to say about how women are to be?

It pains me when I hear of and see women who say thing like, “I will never get married and have children. Instead I will do what I want when I want to do it and spend my money on myself.”  Or when people joke about the wife being the “boss” of the husband.  We could then continue this article in the direction of the roles of the wife and the husband.  But I want to take it another direction – is God’s woman to be feminine or feminist?

We read of many good and bad examples of women in the Bible, such as Jezebel (1 Kings 18) and the lovely Hannah (1 Samuel 1&2).  How does God want his women?  In 1 Peter 5:5 we read, “Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.”  Also, in the Sermon on the Mount, our Lord tells us, “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.” (Matt. 5:5)  We are commanded to be humble and meek.  Does this mean we are to be a doormat, allowing others to walk on us?  Does this mean that we are commanded to have a low self-esteem, to think that we are nobody, that we are unimportant?  Not at all!  We are commanded to be meek, yes, but what does this mean? After all, it is not a word I use hardly ever! The best illustration I can think of to describe meekness is a huge draft horse such as a Clysdale or a Shire.  Those horses are huge and can very easily weigh a ton.  They could easily kill a man with one kick or stampede, but do they? No, they are under control, they are meek.  Meekness is power under control.  Just like that draft horse pulling the large tree stump out of the ground or pulling the plow, we are to have power (1 Cor. 1:18, Eph. 3:20, 2 Tim. 1:7) but we are to be gentle, or under control.  The feminist movement wants to empower women, which is all good and great until you question, power over what? Over men. Over the church. Over other women. 

God also wants his women kind.  In Ephesians 5:32 we read, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”    The key word there is kind.  I know many women who are not kind, who do not have that beautiful agape love for one another, even sadly in the church.  Being kind is a trait that is worked at, a skill that we must acquire.  In Acts 9 we read of a very kind lady – Dorcas, “Now there was at Joppa a certain disciple named Tabitha, which by interpretation is called Dorcas: this woman was full of good works and almsdeeds which she did.”  When we see someone in need, do we approach them offering our help and love?  The world would say “No, look out for yourself.  Look out for number 1.” 

Along the same lines as looking out for yourself, the Bible tells us of a beautiful woman who did the exact opposite.  We do not know her name, or what she looked like, but she was beautiful indeed.  In Proverbs 31:10-31 we read of a lady known only as the virtuous woman.  We read of her taking care of her family and her house, sacrificing perhaps much needed, or wanted, sleep (Prov. 31:15).  She goes and buys items her family needs and provides for her children and husband – she was not lazy! (Prov. 31:13,14, 16, 21, & 27)  Not only does she provide for her house, but she makes her husband look good (Prov. 31:11,12, & 23)!  How often do we make our husband look good to others? Do we build him up in front of others, recognizing his hard work for the Lord?  Are we a wife that he is proud to be the husband of (Prov. 31:28-29)?  What about our children?  The woman of God takes care of her children and loves them dearly, looking after their spiritual welfare (Prov. 31:26; 1 Sam. 1:11, 28).  She does not see her children as a burden, but as a blessing (Psalm 127:3)!  God’s woman also sees to those in need, providing for others who have nothing (Prov. 31:19-20).  I can almost guarantee you that this lovely woman would have been laughed at in our day and age for her feminine qualities, her gracious and kind spirit. 

So as we continue on in the corporate jobs and meet women who are brash and callous, let us remember the beautiful women of God listed in the Bible and model ourselves after them.  After all, the world has plenty of women who are harsh, callous, rude, and overbearing.  The world needs more women who are kind, gentle, soft, loving, and meek (1 Peter 3:4).

Erin resides in Ben Wheeler Tx with her husband who preaches for the Ben Wheeler congregation. Erin has been involved with preparing and organizing the work of the church since she was a teenager by teaching all ages of Bibles classes, helping prepare and organize Ladies Days, Prom Alternatives, Youth Rallies and VBS.  She is currently works as a paralegal for a law firm. She and her husband also spend their time enjoying their sweet dog, chickens, ducks, quail…etc.  Life is never dull at her house.

The Walk Of Life

~Nancy Goring

   While walking the track at the community center today, I started noticing the various "walkers/runners." They were all different in age, gender, weight and health. One couple, in particular really impressed me. They were a couple about 80 years old and moving very slowly. The lady had looped her arm through her husbands to help support him, as he was having difficulty even ta...king small steps. It was so sweet to see how she supported him so carefully, never trying to make him move faster, always being patient with him.

     I also saw young people running as fast as they could, others jogging at a regular pace and some fast walkers at various speeds. Like most tracks, there are 3 lanes; the inside is for slower folks, the middle for fast, and the outside lane for runners. I couldn't help but think how much our Christian lives paralleled the scenes unfolding before me. 

     There were little ones who ran fast, then walked, then skipped around, not really sure what they should be doing, but having fun anyway. They weren't aware of the "rules" yet, but they watched and picked up very quickly. I thought about those who began their Christians walk - eager, excited, unsure, happy, learning to follow the lead of those who were older and more experienced. Then there were the ones who had been doing this for many years. They were steady, consistent, always watching before they changed lanes so they wouldn't interfere with other walkers - courteous, well-balanced, well-paced, experienced. Most of the older people were in the slower lane, some doing better than others because they were just trying to stay healthy by walking consistently.
Then there were the ones who walked 3 abreast, talking, having fun, paying no attention whether someone was approaching from behind that might run into them or that they may cause to get off course or lose balance. Their strides were slow then fast - they wandered all over the track, oblivious to their surroundings. On a rare occasion there would be one who was irritated with the talkers and would be rude to them, almost pushing them out of the way because they were a nuisance to their workout. There is no need for me to make a spiritual comparison here - I will let you do that.

     The walk at the track is so much like our walk in life as a Christian. I was so impressed with the older folks who kept on keeping on, though it was at a much slower pace. That encouraged me to keep exercising even when I feel tired, ache, and want to stop, even for just a little bit.
My doctor told me I needed to walk for my health, so I set goals, at his instruction, to keep me on task. Our heavenly Father has also told us what we need to do to stay spiritually strong. He also provided the goal! Are we following His instructions? Are we studying daily for our spiritual strength? Are we serving as we should? Are we assisting others on the pathway if they need us to loop our arm through theirs to help them/support them when they are weak? Are we being a consistent example of Christ-like behavior in our daily walk? Hopefully we are not wandering around, oblivious to all that is about us that might harm us spiritually, or perhaps another!
We have a goal that was given to us. It is heaven. The apostle Paul said, "I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus," (Philippians 3:14). Let us "run with patience, that race that is set before us," as the Hebrew writer said in Hebrews 12:1. Let's all strive for strength, patience, consistency, and balance as we walk His walk, always keeping the end goal in sight.

 

Nancy is the wife of Bill Goring, who serves as a gospel preacher and elder for the Chipman Road church of Christ in Lee’s Summit, Missouri. She has 4 children, 11 grandchildren and has taught Bible class for over 40 years, speaks at Ladies Day gatherings and has published several books including: Behavior Becoming Holiness: Studies in Titus Chapter 2 and Overcoming our Self-Imposed Prisons.

 

Til Death Do us Part

     I will never forget standing in the church building following our morning worship and watching her fight back her tears. I watched her unconsciously play with her wedding ring as she told me about her beloved husband. I didn’t know her husband, and had just asked what I thought was a casual question in passing, not really related to her husband, but somehow the conversation quickly turned to him. When I saw her reaction I felt guilty and mentally kicked myself for saying anything that could have caused her such pain. I listened, fighting back my tears as I watched her choked back hers, while a few she was unable to stop slowly rolled down her cheeks. Finally, I asked how long it had been since her husband passed. “It will be 24 years in two months,” she said. 

     Spring and summer is on the way and, of course, means weddings, weddings and more weddings! In fact, our small congregation will have five couples marry this spring/summer. Everyone is anxious to hear the latest details of the wedding plans, always assuring the bride-to-be that all will go well: the dresses will fit and the tuxes will arrive on time, etc. It is an exciting time. However, this is also a time when I am  mindful of our widowed sisters, our sisters who are left to walk this world alone. I am inspired by these women and their love for the Lord as I watch them walk into the church building alone, sitting alone as they worship their God. They understand that a happy marriage and perfect love for their mate can only be found in a strong abiding, submissive love for the Lord. I am mindful of these wise women. I seek their council when I need to know how to comfort a sister who is struggling in her marriage, and when I am ashamedly fighting my own selfishness in my marriage. I seek them out, I listen, and I watch.

               

     They understand the frustration, anger and hurt that can occur in a marriage, some have lived through the pain that Sarah must have felt when Abraham put her last, and looked after his own interests first, denying she was his wife, even to the point of giving her to another man (see Genesis 12:10-20; and Genesis 20). But, despite feeling neglected and unappreciated, these sisters, like Sarah, remained faithful and waited patiently on the Lord (I Peter 3:6).

     Some of my widowed sisters endured years of heartbreak like Abigail (see I Samuel 25) who all the while married to an ungodly, angry, and perhaps, abusive husband, remained steadfast to the Lord’s commandments (I Sam. 25:18-34). But they, like Abigail, because of their deep abiding faith in the Lord and their commitment to His will above their own (Gal 2:20), remained kind, gentle (Col 3:12) and faithful, serving their husbands as if serving the Lord (Romans 12), because the Lord asked her to (Eph. 5:22; Col 3:18); because she loved her Lord more than her own selfish desires (Eph 5:33b); because she never lost sight of her commitment and hope that her husband would see the Lord in her (I Peter 3).  

     Many of these widowed sisters lived through struggles to “make ends meet.” And they know the dangers and destruction that selfishness can have on a marriage. They understood the discouragement they could bring upon their husbands if they succumbed to the temptation of greed; wanting more than their husband could provide (Prov. 31:11). These are women who understand how important it is to resist the sin of discouraging their husband as they studied Job’s wife in Job 2:9; Job 19:17; or the sin of tempting their husband as they read about Eve enticing her husband to disobey the Lord in Gen. 3:6; or the sin of criticizing their husband as they read about Michael criticizing David in II Samuel 6.

     My widowed sisters understood the Godly commandment to leave their mothers and cling to their husbands as the Lord told them to in Genesis 2:24. Many of my widowed sisters followed Ruth’s example and left their families to follow their husband’s God (see Ruth 1). They felt that pain and knew it would cost them their families, but held tighter to their God and their husbands as the Lord directed them in Mark 10:6-9.

               

    I am always mindful of these wise women and try to visit a nursing home that is owned and managed by the Lord's church every week. Almost most every apartment on the assisted living wing is occupied by a widow.  I seek out these Christian widowed sisters, my widowed sisters I see sitting alone in the worship assembly each service of the church, and my Christian widowed mother and aunt. I seek them out, I watch, and I listen.  I think about oath they took on their wedding day long ago, and I think about the young women we will see walk down toward their future husband and take make their promise to the Lord.  

  

     I am confident that the marriages we all will witness this spring and summer will last a lifetime; all marriages can. I am also confident that each couple will have struggles and a few tears; all marriages do. However, I am more confident in the Lord’s boundaries regarding marriage (Gen 2:22; Matt. 19:9). My wise widowed sisters know that it takes a lifetime to learn to love perfectly, a spiritual love (I Cor. 13: 4-7), one that sacrifices willingly (Gen 22:2) for another (I John 4:10). These widowed sisters realize they did not do it alone. They know they were blessed by the Lord as they sought His will above their own, and looked to God’s great example of true love (John 3:16).

Loving them Enought to Say "No"

~Erin Blair

I once knew a lady who told me, “If I tell my children ‘no,’ then they will hate me.”  Consequently her children ran rampant, out-of-control, doing anything and everything they wanted.  I could see in the poor mother’s eyes how worn down she was and how much she was embarrassed about her children.   When school dances rolled around, she let them go even though they were Christians, and when it was summer and it was hot, she let her daughters wear clothing that was unbecoming of a young lady professing to be a child of God all because she didn’t want her children to “hate” her.  It seems that many parents fall in this trap.  Recently my husband and I were having supper with our preacher and his wife on Sunday night and I asked them what the hardest part of being a parent is and they both said that it is hard to tell your children “no.”  Let’s face it, no one wants to be the “bad guy” and hurt their child’s feelings!  They also told my husband and I that it is one of the most important things a parent can do is love their child enough to say “no.”  But what does this mean?  The world has told us and conditioned us that if we love someone, we will give them everything and let them do whatever it is that they want because then, and only then, will they truly appreciate you and love you.  But is this really true? 

Many of us know the different types of love: eros, phileo, storge, and agape.   All of us would say that we love our children with the storge, or familial, love and I hope many would even say they phileo, or enjoy being around, their children.  But what about agape?  Do we really agape our children?  Do we really want what is best for our children? Or we hear things such as what we want is what they need.  Some don’t think of this when they make decisions regarding their children.  We argue that we cannot know what is best for our kids all the time, but is that really true?  What is best for them?  We know that their soul is the most precious thing in this world and it is our job as parents to help them get to heaven.  Our decisions should reflect those of the Word which will grant us eternal life (John 6:68). 

But why would we say “no” to our children?  Why should we “deprive” them of various activities that the world says is okay?  As parents, we need to remember to set our eyes, and the eyes of our children on things above, heavenly things (Heb. 12:2; Matt. 6:21).  If we truly love our children and want what is best for them and their souls, then wouldn’t we want to keep them from the pleasures of sin for a season (Hebrews 11:25)? 

When we tell our little girl of five years old that it’s okay to wear that spaghetti strap shirt and tiny shorts, they get the idea that those clothes are fine to wear.  The problem then becomes when they are no longer a little girl, but a young woman who wishes to wear those revealing clothes. It then becomes hard to tell them “no” when they are older when you allowed them to do such things when they were younger.   It will be hard, especially when the child gets upset, but when they realize that you are directing their souls to God, and truly love them with an agape love, they will not “hate” you.

As a parent, we should love our children enough that we are able to stand up and give them the example of standing by the truth and what God would have us to do.  When we truly love them and their precious soul, then we will say “no” to those things that will damage their soul and their relationship with God.   I pray that my husband and I will love our future children enough to tell them “no” so their soul will be right with God.

Erin resides in Ben Wheeler Tx with her husband. Erin has been involved with preparing and organizing the work of the church such as teaching all ages of Bibles classes, helped prepare and organize Ladies Days, Prom Alternatives, Youth Rallies and VBS.  She is currently a paralegal for a law firm. She and her husband also spend their time enjoying their three very large, but very sweet dogs.

The Dangers of Complaining

~Nancy Goring 

 Numbers 11:1-3

Do you ever complain or gripe about anything? I know, it’s a rhetorical question, and yes, I am the chiefest of sinners here, but it is not a godly trait to complain. We have all been blessed abundantly; Christians specifically, but even the ungodly are able to reap the temporal blessings our Father has provided us. Much is written in both the Old and New... Testaments regarding murmuring or complaining. We are told to be a joyful, thankful people, even when we endure various testings (James 1:2). Numbers 11 gives us some insight as to how God feels when we complain. God has finally delivered the Israelites from Egyptian bondage and they are making their way to the promised land of Canaan. Verse 1 of Numbers 11 begins, “And when the people complained…” Here we go! We don’t know exactly what this particular complaint was (there were soooo many complaints to follow), but It Has Begun. Immediately, God’s anger is kindled. Why is that? Perhaps because He showed forth His power and mercy and love in delivering them; perhaps because they doubted His continued care for them; the list could go on of “perhapses,” but needless to day, they were rebellious and disobedient, without patience or faith in this matter. God Sent Fire! The camp began to burn and people began to die! The people cried to Moses and he had to pray for God to quench the fire. God did so. Again the power of God was displayed to a rebellious Israel. There were consequences as a result of their complaining. Some died. This generation would not see the promised land they so longed for. Promises were unrealized as a result of their complaining. We can learn a lesson from this. Our God has always provided our needs and will continue to do so. We have a promise of eternal life if we would not dismiss His commandments and behave as Israel of old. We have a promise that He will never leave us or forsake us if we remain faithful. “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee,” Hebrews 13:5. Paul understood this well: “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content,” (Philippians 4:11). There are dangers in complaining. They may not be realized immediately, but they are there. Just to name a few:
1) It discourages others.
2) It discourages US!
3) It shows an ungodly disposition to the world.
4) We miss out on the blessings of God.
5) People will not want to be around us so we miss out on fellowship.
6) Our focus is turned inward instead of upon evangelism and edification.
7) It grieves the Father and causes us to seem ungrateful for the blood of our Savior who was willing to die for us. It causes us to lose our faith.
A wise lady once taught a group of young ladies, “Be careful what you complain about, whether it be your children, your husband, your job, your mother-in-law or whatever – they can be removed from you!” That was an eye-opener for me. Let’s make an effort not to be a complainer – it’s just one more foothold for the devil.

 

Nancy is the wife of Bill Goring, who serves as a gospel preacher and elder for the Chipman Road church of Christ in Lee’s Summit, Missouri. She has 4 children, 11 grandchildren and has taught Bible class for over 40 years, speaks at Ladies Day gatherings and has published several books including: Behavior Becoming Holiness: Studies in Titus Chapter 2 and Overcoming our Self-Imposed Prisons.

A Word of Thanks...

~Tracy Frederick
 

Here we are in the middle of the week. Some call it “hump day” in reference to having climbed the last few days to get to this middle point and it will all be downhill from here. It says that it has been an uphill climb to this point, and sometimes it is, isn’t it? We worshiped our Lord on Sunday, praising Him and thanking Him for the blessings of air, food, clothing and the many riches He has provided. It was perfect wasn’t it? It was a blessed day of thinking of Him and thanking Him and rejoicing in the goodness that He is. Then we headed into the week where Satan lives and prowls at work, in school and sets his traps of discouragement, pain, sorrow, heartache and deception. Then I realize how privileged we are to gather together at the mid-week Bible study to refresh ourselves together in the word together and encourage one another together, to exhort one another together and to fortify ourselves together for the last few days of the week as we look again toward gathering around the table in anticipation of the bittersweet time of remembering the death of our Savior. I appreciate those that will encourage me tonight to get over this “hump” and will gather in my Father’s name and see the evening of Bible study as a priviledge as they crave the word and appreciate the gathering together to refresh and renew my spirit. I appreciate those of you who will put aside your personal needs and selfish wants to think of ours and consider encouraging me and my other brothers and sisters as we try to get through this week, and over this hump. I appreciate those of you who will choose the body of Christ over a television show, a barcalounger  (or the lazyboy). I appreciate you considering us, and helping us get over the “hump.” (And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25).