Submitting to our Husbands

~Erin Blair

“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Ephesians 5:21-22

Have you ever really studied your husband? I mean REALLY studied him? Do you know what turns his cranks? What makes him encouraged, discouraged, what makes him feel like superman? What about his biggest fear or biggest success? Dreams, goals, worries?  Are we truly students of our husbands? I don’t mean students in the idea of him teaching us something, although that happens quite often (at least in my home!). I mean students more in the way that Thomas Edison was a student of science. He ate, breathed, lived science and was always trying to figure it out.  Do we have that kind of focus on our husbands?

First, let’s take verse 21 of Ephesians 5.  We are told to submit to one another. What does this mean? We are to “put ourselves under” others, “…not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” (Phil. 2:4)  We are to put other’s needs above and ahead of our own. We are to bless, love, and serve others above ourselves.  After all, servanthood is to be a key part of our lives just as it was Christ’s (Mark 10:45).  Submission is about laying down one’s life and serving others – even if there is nothing quite simple about that. It is something we need to do every day. It is an attitude of living to bless another person.

Wives are asked to be more specific – to submit to our own husbands. If you notice in the latter part of verse 22, it says, “…as unto the Lord.” How do we submit to the Lord? First we have to know who He is! We need to study God and learn about him in order to know how He wants us to submit, or serve, Him. It is the same way with our husbands, as the previous part of verse 22 states. While we may submit and serve everyone, we are commanded (yes, commanded) to specifically submit to our husbands. Sure, we may buy a cup of coffee for a friend, help out a co-worker with meeting a deadline, take food to those who are sick, and the list could go on and on. But we are commanded to intentional about serving our husbands. We are to be intentional in our service and submission to our husbands.

To me, this means making a plan. For those of you who know me even the slightest bit, you know I love making plans. I have to have a plan for the day, for the week, or for the weekend. I need things lined out and organized. But as I am looking at my goals or to-do’s for the week, one of the first things I am trying to train myself to ask, or plan for, is: “How can I be a help to Jordan this week?”  What does he have going this week that could be a stressor for him, and how can I help reduce his stress? What are his goals, and how can I help him meet them?

I admit, sometimes I don’t know what my sweet husband has on his plate this week, so I don’t know the answers to those questions. I really should, though. Of all the people on the face of this earth, the one I am called first and foremost to serve (after God of course) – before any children, before my boss, before my parents even – is my husband.

This, though, doesn’t mean we are just to be friends with our husband. Wait! That is all good and great, and I will be the first to admit my husband is my best friend and most favorite person on the planet. But what I mean is that being “friends” and laughing together and watching a movie together doesn’t mean you serve him.  We need to be proactive in our pursuit of our husbands. Again, like Thomas Edison, study them.  Pay attention to what is happening in his life.  Get excited about the things that excite him. Think actively about ways to help him and bless him and serve him.

We are to be our husband’s biggest cheerleaders and the “helpmeet” or ally to come alongside him and help him.  We can’t do that if we only get around to thinking about him once the kids are asleep, or the dishes are done, or the laundry is all folded and put away.  We need to pay attention to our husband.  This also means getting our eyes off ourselves and our own interests, and thinking about him. 

Erin resides in Ben Wheeler TX with her husband, Jordan who preaches for the Lord's church. They are awaiting the birth of their first child, Judah Rae. Erin has always been involved with fortifying and broadening the borders of the Kingdom. She has taught all ages of Bibles classes, helped prepare and organize Ladies Days, Prom Alternatives, Youth Rallies and VBS. She is currently works as a paralegal for a law firm. She and her husband also spend their time enjoying their garden, dogs, rabbits, chickens, ducks, quail…etc. Life is never dull at her house!

Modesty in an Immodest World

~Erin Blair

“7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.

8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.

9 Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?”

10 So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.” – Genesis 3:7-10


When we read about the fall of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, we automatically think of and talk about the sin of disobedience. Absolutely they sinned via disobeying God’s command not to eat of the fruit of the tree of good and evil. But what about the second sin that was committed? I’m sure you are thinking, “Whoa! Wait a minute! Second sin? What second sin? Where are you getting that?”

So, what was the second sin? Look closely at the text from Genesis 3. It was immodesty.

Soon after they ate of the tree that they were told not to, they knew they were naked and used, or tried to use rather, leaves to cover themselves. Well, we all know leaves are not the best items to use for clothing. They are thin, sometimes transparent, don’t knit well together so they gape, and quite frankly, depending on the leaf, you would have to use a lot of delicate leaves to patch together anything resembling clothes. Yet, for all their efforts, when God came into the garden, they still thought they were naked and hid in shame. They felt guilt from being immodestly dressed and they knew that it was wrong.

My how things have changed!

Take a look around. The world we live in is covered, or rather uncovered, in immodesty! Immodesty dominates much of what is watched on TV, seen on the streets, in schools and even in the workplace. What’s more is our nation has an entire industry devoted to immodesty – the porn industry. So, with all the immodesty around us, how can we remain modest in a world that glorifies the bikini, shorts that aren’t much longer than underwear, men walking around shirtless, and see-through sundresses?

We need to know God’s standard for modest dress! After God cursed Adam and Eve, he made “coats” for them (Gen. 3:21). Why did God do this? He deemed the clothing they made for themselves was not sufficient and thus better, more dignified clothing was needed. The word “coat” in this passage, kthoneth, indicates that they were covered from their shoulders on down. So therefore, logically, we can infer that this includes the upper and lower portions of the torso.

God also made sure that the Israelites understood what needed to be covered. “Nor shall you go up by steps to My altar, that your nakedness may not be exposed on it.” Exodus 20:26. “For Aaron’s sons you shall make tunics, and you shall make sashes for them. And you shall make hats for them, for glory and beauty. 41 So you shall put them on Aaron your brother and on his sons with him. You shall anoint them, consecrate them, and sanctify them, that they may minister to Me as priests. 42 And you shall make for them linen trousers to cover their nakedness; they shall reach from the waist to the thighs.” Exodus 28:40-41. God made sure they were covered to the degree that their nakedness was not exposed. What the priests wore was what we would call a robe, or a dress/skirt. God commanded them to have undergarments worn that covered them “from the waist to the thighs.” I think of basketball-type shorts (or something similar) when I read this description. Could this be applied to today’s fashion? What about those skirts or dresses that are see-through and you can see everything up to where no one but the woman’s husband should see? Or skirts or shorts that are so short that they expose the majority of the thigh? Or expose your backside when you bend over?

Basic morality has not changed from the Old Testament to the New. After all, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) Christians are all priests of God (1 Peter 2:9). We have no right to serve God immodestly today than the priests under the old law. What’s more is, women are commanded to be modest! “…in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing.” (1 Tim. 2:9) The point Paul is making here is that women are not to draw attention to themselves by their attire, whether from lack of clothing or excessive clothing and jewelry. If a woman walks in clothes from neck to feet, but has 5 rings on each finger, 3 gold necklaces, huge jeweled earrings, jewel pins, etc., are you eyes not drawn to her automatically? It is no different if a woman walks in in skimpy shorts and a skin-tight top that looks painted on, leaving nothing to the imagination, but screams “look at my body!” Both scream “look at me!” God’s standard for modesty, as we can see, is to cover ourselves, our most private places that are meant for our husband only (the places from the shoulders to the knee – breasts, hips, back, thighs, and vagina/crotch area) and to cover ourselves in a way that won’t draw unnecessary attention to ourselves.

After all, if we are dressed immodestly, whether via over-excessive “bling” or exposed legs and cleavage or skin tight clothing, while trying to study with a man in a Bible class, are we not possibly tempting him? (Matt. 5:28) We need to remember Matthew 18:6 “Whosoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” I don’t think any of us would want to be the cause of someone else’s sin! Especially if there is something we can do to prevent it!

As Christians we are to reflect Christ. What are we reflecting if we dress in a way that promotes our bodies in a sexual manner? We need, rather, to dress in a way that is blameless and harmless and draws attention to God rather than ourselves. (Phil. 2:15).

Erin resides in Ben Wheeler TX with her husband Jordan as they await the birth of their first child, Judah. Erin has been involved with preparing and organizing the work of the church since she was a teenager by teaching all ages of Bibles classes, helping prepare and organize Ladies Days, Prom Alternatives, Youth Rallies and VBS.  She is currently works as a paralegal for a law firm. She and her husband also spend their time enjoying their garden, dogs, rabbits, chickens, ducks, quail…etc.  Life is never dull at her house. 

Gross out Your Kids!!

~Erin Blair

For those of you who do not know, I am pregnant with our first child who is due in August. This was unplanned for as many of you know, we are planning to adopt. But nevertheless, we are excited to welcome this new blessing into our lives and couldn’t be happier. But, as we plan and prepare and discuss how to raise this child, there is something we keep coming back to: we plan to “gross out” our children.

It’s a cute, funny scene whenever mommy and daddy hug or give a quick peck on the lips, the kids immediately exclaim: “Ewwwww! That’s gross!” And oftentimes, it seems to me at least, parents shy away from PDA in front of the kids because they don’t want to gross them out, make them uncomfortable, or “scar” them. This lack of PDA then can lead to a lack of affection even in private.

When we show affection towards our husbands in front of the kids (and of course I’m talking PG rated affection), we illustrate Song of Solomon 1:2, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—For your love is better than wine.” We show our kids how important their father is to us and how much we love him. There is deep security in children knowing their mommy and daddy love each other deeply, especially in an age where divorce is commonplace. I remember when I was a child and all my friend’s parents were divorced; I was scared mine would. But, when I saw my parents hug or kiss, or my dad take care to pull a splinter of glass out of my mom’s foot, it assured me that they would not because they loved each other. 

We also need to remember 1 Corinthians 7:5, “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” Do not deprive yourselves in front of your kids! Show them that mommy and daddy delight in one another (Song of Solomon 4) and still show their love physically. It will also show your children how a marriage should be – loving, caring and fun! They will remember how their mom and dad kissed, hugged and held one another when it is time for them to find a spouse. If it grosses them out when they are three, they’ll get over it by the time they are six because that is the norm! That’s what mommy and daddy’s do! 

So, be great parents, gross out your kids! Show them what a good, healthy, rock-solid, fun Christian marriage is! They will have precious memories of their parents love when they are older and realize it wasn’t really so gross.

Erin resides in Ben Wheeler TX with her husband, Jordan. Erin has been involved with preparing and organizing the work of the church since she was a teenager by teaching all ages of Bibles classes, helping prepare and organize Ladies Days, Prom Alternatives, Youth Rallies and VBS.  She is currently works as a paralegal for a law firm. She and her husband also spend their time enjoying their garden, dogs, rabbits, chickens, ducks, quail…etc.  Life is never dull at her house. 

Truly “Knowing” Your Spouse

~Erin Blair 

Lately I’ve been on a kick. Some of you may laugh or snicker at this, but my kick has been a study of the relationship between the husband and wife as God designed the marriage. As I read through the Word, I am amazed time and time again how God planned the marriage and the beauty of that institution. But as I was reading about the first marriage, Adam and Eve, something stuck out to me.

“And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord.” – Genesis 4:1

Whenever I read this verse as a child I giggled to myself, immaturely, and thought, “Yeah Adam ‘knew’ her!” I thought it was funny because the Bible used the word “knew” rather than the word “sex.” This obviously meant that the writer of Genesis was embarrassed to say the word “sex”, right?
But as I grew older and more mature, I thought “wait just a second! What if something else was going on?”

In Psalm 139 David says “O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me…” This is David saying God has known him, has known us. “But what is the big deal about this verse and how does it relate to my topic of knowing your spouse?” you are probably asking. Let me explain…

If you go into the Hebrew, you notice that the word “known” or “know” in Psalm 139:1 is the Hebrew word yadà which means “to know properly, to ascertain by seeing, observation, care.” Basically knowing ones needs and caring for them.

Now go back to Genesis 4:1 and read that verse again. The word “knew” also translates to yadà. It’s the same word! This means Adam knew Eve in the sense of knowing her emotionally, mentally, physically, and also provided for her and cared for her in the highest sense. There was a deep, loving connection between the first husband and wife.

I think this is what God planned for when he instituted marriage – for husband and wife to truly know and love one another deeply and on many levels. Think about it: in marriage we bare ourselves to another human being in many different ways. Our husbands have seen us bared physically. They have seen us bared emotionally and have seen us bared spiritually as we worship God together and study His Word and are deep in prayer. With our husbands, we can be venerable.

God created people with a desperate longing for a relationship (Gen. 2:18,20,24). We long to know and be known, and in that knowing to be accepted. God gave us this drive to know Him and be known by Him, but He also gave us this desire to know another human being – to truly know our husbands.

But what does it mean to truly know your spouse? Well, take a look at the word yadà. It means to be connected to your spouse in a deep, meaningful way that no one else does. It means to know them not only physically but also emotionally and mentally. Do you truly know what makes your husband “tick”? Can you read his expression to know when he’s had a bad day at work or is stressed and under pressure? Can you talk with him and discuss more than just how the kids are doing and how your day was or what he wants for supper? Can you allow yourself to let him know all the flaws and insecurities you have and can you help support and encourage him as he shows you his?

Can you truly repeat the words said in Song of Solomon 5:16 “This is my beloved, and this is my friend…”?

Erin resides in Ben Wheeler Tx with her husband, Jordan. Erin has been involved with preparing and organizing the work of the church since she was a teenager by teaching all ages of Bibles classes, helping prepare and organize Ladies Days, Prom Alternatives, Youth Rallies and VBS.  She is currently works as a paralegal for a law firm. She and her husband also spend their time enjoying their garden, dogs, rabbits, chickens, ducks, quail…etc.  Life is never dull at her house. 

Pillow Talk

~Erin Blair

Think back on your years of listening to sermons whether they be during regular worship, or a lectureship, or even on one of the many great radio stations such as KnowTheTruthRadio.org or TheGospelRadioNetwork.org.  How many sermons have you heard on love? How about the life of Christ? Or what about running the Christian race?  I have heard countless sermons on such topics. But there is one topic that I have not heard much on. In fact I can think of only one lectureship that spoke on this topic and that was a couple of years ago in the San Antonio Shenendoah church of Christ lectureships.  I am talking about that unspoken, perhaps even “taboo” subject of sex.

 Growing up in the church I’ll admit I very rarely, if ever, heard a sermon about God’s view on sexuality.  Of course we hear over and over, at least in the girls classes or in the cabins at church camps, about “staying pure until marriage.”  This is all good and great, but with so much emphasis on staying pure and not giving your virginity away before marriage, it can gave the impression that sex, or the desire for sex, is a bad thing. 

 I’m going to chase a rabbit real quick and say that I personally think the phrase “giving away your virginity” to be far more accurate than “losing” it.  After all, in most cases you don’t lose it like you lose your keys or your car in the Walmart parking lot – you don’t forget where you put it.  It is something that is, oftentimes, voluntarily given to another person, something we are conscious of doing and can stop if we wish to. 

 I remember talking to an old friend from college about a year ago.  She married her husband a year or so after I married my husband and we were talking about how marriage has changed us, for good or bad.  This talk eventually came around to the subject of sexuality within, and without, the marriage.  She told me, and I agreed, that the church never really prepared her for her relationship with her husband because it was never preached on and never taught on in bible classes. I agreed and shared similar experiences.  The lack of teaching gave her and I the impression that sex was something that was dirty, or shameful, even within marriage or just to produce children – not for pleasure.   I told her, after a few shared giggles, “The bible is full of sex!  The good and the bad - right and wrong.”

 Preachers and Bible class teachers emphasize, when the subject arises, about staying pure and holding on to your virginity before marriage but they never really teach on sex within the marriage.  In our congregation’s Sunday morning bible class a while back we came across Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”  Our teacher didn’t spend much time on this verse, and my husband and I shared a look after reading this verse.  During the break between Bible class and worship, my husband turns to me and says, “In verse 4, that’s talking about sex, right?” We then have a quick discussion about how this verse indicates that within the marriage, sex is a good thing and is in fact honorable and encouraged!  

 We read in Proverbs 5:18-19:

“Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.  Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”

We see here that God deems sex a good thing between the husband and wife, and something that is strongly encouraged! We oftentimes forget, I think, that God created sex and He created the desire for a sexual relationship with our spouse and said it was good (Genesis 1:28, 31; Genesis 4:1). 

 As for our sexual relationship with our husband, we don’t have to have a college degree to realize the connection and bond it creates.  Purely from a medical and scientific standpoint, the hormone oxytocin is released in the husband and the wife during sex.  This is called the bonding hormone – the feeling of closeness and intimacy.  Who would argue that we should feel close, or bonded, with our spouse? What better way to get that intimate bond than through the blessing of sex that God give a married couple?

 The King Solomon knew this well when he wrote the Song of Solomon.  Throughout this book we see the romantic relationship between a woman and a man starting out as what we would call dating, and by the fourth chapter we see it is a husband and wife (Song of Sol. 4:12).  We oftentimes draw a parallel of this book between Christ and the church, but we can also see it as a teaching of God about the romantic relationship between a husband and wife.  The book is filled with poetic, romantic language that paints a picture of a husband and wife taking pleasure in one another as God designed.

 

Paul writes in his letter to the church at Corinth about the sexual relationship between spouses in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5:

 “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”

 We see here that Paul is encouraging couples to be intimate, to have sex, and to not deny the spouse this need (yes I said need) for a long period of time.  As I mentioned before, sex creates a sense of closeness, of intimacy, of bonding.  We need to feel close to someone and when we are married the one we should feel closest to is our spouse.   If this need is denied for a time, as Paul states, then we are setting them (and even ourselves) up for being tempted to seek that fulfillment elsewhere. One of the leading causes for affairs is an unsatisfied, or unfulfilled, sex life with their spouse (www.psychologytoday.com).  I am not saying all men fall to that temptation, but we should be careful not to place that temptation in their path, to create that void that they need filled (Matt. 18:6).

 But you may say, “But it’s boring! There’s no ‘spark’ anymore.”  Well, get creative! Talk to you husband about it and explore together.  The possibilities are endless as long as they coincide with God’s word (Heb. 13:4).  And remember to flirt! Remember, this is the man who gave you butterflies when you were dating and who was, and should still be, your knight in shining armor.  Tell you husband he’s handsome (Song of Sol. 5:10-16), and don’t be afraid to show him affection – even in front of the kids! (Song of Sol. 1:2)

 As we read God’s word, we see that God mentions the sexual relationship between you and your husband quite often.  But do we have the same views on sexuality as God does?  Perhaps it is time to sit down with your husband and have a little “pillow talk” and study together God’s design and teachings on His gift to married couples. 

Feminine or Feminist?

~Erin Blair

Our society today, especially with the feminist movement, has taught a skewed version of how a woman should be.  She should be a strong and independent woman “who don’t need no man.”  But is this Biblical?  Is society’s teaching of a brash and prideful woman what God had in mind when he created woman (Gen. 2:22)?  Are women in the Lord’s church to be callous and degrading of their brothers?

I overheard one day a woman telling her friend, “Yeah, he’s just another paycheck coming in.”  She was saying this about her husband! I was appalled at her poor outlook on her husband.  I have also heard the saying, “A husband is a person who, after having taken out the trash, gives the impression of cleaning the whole house.”  We laugh at these antics and brush them off, not giving them a second thought.  But this is what the society we live in is molding our daughter’s minds into thinking that women are the rulers of the house and we have to keep men under our thumb?  But what about what God has to say about how women are to be?

It pains me when I hear of and see women who say thing like, “I will never get married and have children. Instead I will do what I want when I want to do it and spend my money on myself.”  Or when people joke about the wife being the “boss” of the husband.  We could then continue this article in the direction of the roles of the wife and the husband.  But I want to take it another direction – is God’s woman to be feminine or feminist?

We read of many good and bad examples of women in the Bible, such as Jezebel (1 Kings 18) and the lovely Hannah (1 Samuel 1&2).  How does God want his women?  In 1 Peter 5:5 we read, “Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.”  Also, in the Sermon on the Mount, our Lord tells us, “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.” (Matt. 5:5)  We are commanded to be humble and meek.  Does this mean we are to be a doormat, allowing others to walk on us?  Does this mean that we are commanded to have a low self-esteem, to think that we are nobody, that we are unimportant?  Not at all!  We are commanded to be meek, yes, but what does this mean? After all, it is not a word I use hardly ever! The best illustration I can think of to describe meekness is a huge draft horse such as a Clysdale or a Shire.  Those horses are huge and can very easily weigh a ton.  They could easily kill a man with one kick or stampede, but do they? No, they are under control, they are meek.  Meekness is power under control.  Just like that draft horse pulling the large tree stump out of the ground or pulling the plow, we are to have power (1 Cor. 1:18, Eph. 3:20, 2 Tim. 1:7) but we are to be gentle, or under control.  The feminist movement wants to empower women, which is all good and great until you question, power over what? Over men. Over the church. Over other women. 

God also wants his women kind.  In Ephesians 5:32 we read, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”    The key word there is kind.  I know many women who are not kind, who do not have that beautiful agape love for one another, even sadly in the church.  Being kind is a trait that is worked at, a skill that we must acquire.  In Acts 9 we read of a very kind lady – Dorcas, “Now there was at Joppa a certain disciple named Tabitha, which by interpretation is called Dorcas: this woman was full of good works and almsdeeds which she did.”  When we see someone in need, do we approach them offering our help and love?  The world would say “No, look out for yourself.  Look out for number 1.” 

Along the same lines as looking out for yourself, the Bible tells us of a beautiful woman who did the exact opposite.  We do not know her name, or what she looked like, but she was beautiful indeed.  In Proverbs 31:10-31 we read of a lady known only as the virtuous woman.  We read of her taking care of her family and her house, sacrificing perhaps much needed, or wanted, sleep (Prov. 31:15).  She goes and buys items her family needs and provides for her children and husband – she was not lazy! (Prov. 31:13,14, 16, 21, & 27)  Not only does she provide for her house, but she makes her husband look good (Prov. 31:11,12, & 23)!  How often do we make our husband look good to others? Do we build him up in front of others, recognizing his hard work for the Lord?  Are we a wife that he is proud to be the husband of (Prov. 31:28-29)?  What about our children?  The woman of God takes care of her children and loves them dearly, looking after their spiritual welfare (Prov. 31:26; 1 Sam. 1:11, 28).  She does not see her children as a burden, but as a blessing (Psalm 127:3)!  God’s woman also sees to those in need, providing for others who have nothing (Prov. 31:19-20).  I can almost guarantee you that this lovely woman would have been laughed at in our day and age for her feminine qualities, her gracious and kind spirit. 

So as we continue on in the corporate jobs and meet women who are brash and callous, let us remember the beautiful women of God listed in the Bible and model ourselves after them.  After all, the world has plenty of women who are harsh, callous, rude, and overbearing.  The world needs more women who are kind, gentle, soft, loving, and meek (1 Peter 3:4).

Erin resides in Ben Wheeler Tx with her husband who preaches for the Ben Wheeler congregation. Erin has been involved with preparing and organizing the work of the church since she was a teenager by teaching all ages of Bibles classes, helping prepare and organize Ladies Days, Prom Alternatives, Youth Rallies and VBS.  She is currently works as a paralegal for a law firm. She and her husband also spend their time enjoying their sweet dog, chickens, ducks, quail…etc.  Life is never dull at her house.

Picking Your Battles

~Tracy Frederick

One of the most valuable pieces of advice I received as a young mother was: “pick your battles.” The person who gave me that advice would never know that it became critical to how I parented, but probably not in the way the advice was given. She was offering me advice to just “give in” at times and to “not make the small things too much,” because there will be times when I will need the” nuclear war-heads” and if they are all used on the small battles, none will be left for the larger ones. I considered this advice well. You see, all who met our daughter realized pretty quickly that she was what some call a “strong-willed child.” I had some battles ahead for sure. But, I also knew that the battles I had ahead of me weren’t the important ones that that she meant. I thought a lot about that advice and my two year old. I panicked. I realized I did have a battle ahead of me a REAL battle,  a spiritual one, one that would never end for her, and the training had to begin, and begin NOW.

“…your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” I Peter 5:8.

My Father had already cared enough about our sweet little girl, our only child, to give His only child to die for her. He also cared enough for her to offer me the help I needed to arm her for the worst adversary of her life…never stop…never ever stop….ever…ever stop fighting for your child.

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength… “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.   You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. “ Deut 6: 4-8

My Father entrusted us with a sweet little soul. My job was to train her while she was entrusted to me and eventually give her back to her heavenly Father to enjoy His eternal comfort. My job was to not mess it up. My job then was to fight for her, and my job was to train her (Prov 22:6) for the biggest enemy she would ever face. My job was to fill her arsenal with supplies and weapons for the war she would have to face on her own, when I was no longer around to fight for her, or hold her hand when she was all alone with no one to “cover her back.” I wouldn’t be there at the scariest time of.  It was exhausting. Did I want to just let a battle go by once in a while? Did I sometimes consider that a “loss” in a battle could be “made up” later? Oh yeah. Would there be times when she would break the training? Sure. Are there times when she would make the wrong choices? I am sure of it.  But when I looked in those sweet bright blue eyes, eyes, I knew I could never give up, she needed me. Her enemy was watching and waiting to snag her….to destroy her. The battle will never go away and the enemy will never stop trying to destroy her….never. She needed me at two to protect her. I needed to train her at two so she could stand strong in her battle at twenty-two.

Burdens or Blessings

~ Nancy Goring

The sounds of cries distrubed her sleep- the baby one more time!
    How could this keep on hapening? She struggled not to whine.
If only she could rest a while and maybe catch a break,
    In two more hours the other kids would surely be awake!

While tending to the baby's needs this though ran through her mind,
    "Dishes, Laundry, Cooking! I'm always in a bind!
I have so many things to do; I just can't do it all.
    My life is such a jumbled mess, I feel so very small.

And then there's mom and dad; they need me too," she sighed,
    "So many things to care for, no time for me, "she cried.
She looked into her baby's eyes, resting peacefully
    It struck her then how blessed she was, to have this family.

Some folks don't have a home or bed to rest in every night,
    And many don't have children who will bring them such delight.
Some have lost their parents and their hearts are broken in two.
    And others don't have food or clothes or laundry to do.

So when it came to bearing up beneath her heavy load,
    She realized the blessings that her Father had bestowed.

The hard times that we all must face will make us stronger too,

Our God will be there with us, and He will help us through.

 

Nancy is the wife of Bill Goring, who serves as a gospel preacher and elder for the Chipman Road church of Christ in Lee’s Summit, Missouri. She has 4 children, 11 grandchildren and has taught Bible class for over 40 years, speaks at Ladies Day gatherings and has published several books including: Behavior Becoming Holiness: Studies in Titus Chapter 2 and Overcoming our Self-Imposed Prisons.

A Proper Education

~ Nancy Goring

Our country talks a lot about education. Without educational institutions, we would have real problems. Not everyone could school their children at home although homeschooling is a reasonable and admirable way of educating our children. One of the many problems we often hear about is, "dummying down the kids." For those who keep up with the media and other means of staying on top of those things applicable to the education field, it simply means that we are not doing what it takes to truly educate our children. For example, "teaching to the test," so that the kids will score highly and schools will receive their full funding. Another way would be lower our expectations and set guidelines, choose textbooks that were easier to understand. All of this would be done so that our children look better, whether they are truly being taught what is necessary for them to succeed and learn. I don't know how much of this is true, as I am not a full-time teacher in a classroom everyday observing what is taking place, so I have no way of knowing, and also every school district is not the same.

This is not an article about public education, but after hearing some of the remarks mentioned above, I was reminded of a young preacher who approached me one evening and asked me if I thought the children were getting the education they needed in our Bible classes. It sort of made me stop and think, as his opinion was that we do not challenge our kiddos nearly enough. He stated that many parents complained that their children were given too much memorization work in Bible classes and that the teachers expected way too much out of them. He found this to be very discouraging. I had to admit that I probably had not made the effort to challenge my students in Bible class, only requiring one Bible verse to be memorized each quarter. So......after much thinking I set out to make sure that I was not "dummying down" our young people in our Bible classes. Much to my surprise, when I started giving assignments in various forms, the kids were ready not only to receive them, but even gave suggestions as to what they would like to accomplish themselves! It gave me pause....what had I been thinking? How many opportunities had I missed? And how much time had been wasted! So I got busy and had them help me design different things they might like to do to help increase their Bible knowledge. They were so pleased with themselves when they finished a project and they were learning.

The point of all this is to say, let's take advantage of the 30-40 minutes we have on Sunday morning and Wednesday night and make sure we are giving our young folks what they need. They are capable of understanding the King James Version or ASV - they don't need modern versions to clarify if we are discussing things in class. Let them use a Bible Encyclopedia or Concordance or Dictionary to assist, if needed. They will need to learn how to use these tools. Encourage them to ask questions, define words, let them look up Bible lands and make maps at home and bring them to class to share. Do reports on Bible characters, letting them choose their favorite one. And by all means, be sure to involve the parents and encourage the kids to get the parents to work with them at home. Learning is contagious and it will spur Bible studies at home as a family! There is so much we can do to help them learn. Have fun with it and make it fun for them. Learning should be fun, especially when it involves our souls. The preacher said, "Remember thy Creator in the days of thy youth...." These are great times of learning and filling our hearts with God's Word. Let's do all we can to give them as much as they are capable of handling so that when they grow older they will have a strong foundation.

Nancy is the wife of Bill Goring, who serves as a gospel preacher and elder for the Chipman Road church of Christ in Lee’s Summit, Missouri. She has 4 children, 11 grandchildren and has taught Bible class for over 40 years, speaks at Ladies Day gatherings and has published several books including: Behavior Becoming Holiness: Studies in Titus Chapter 2 and Overcoming our Self-Imposed Prisons.

It is Never too Early...but Will be Too Late

~Tracy Frederick

 

I looked across the room at the faces of the two young mothers with their Bibles open, eager to soak in the word of God. They have great hearts for the Lord, but I could see they were a little weary. I recalled those years of juggling a child, chores, church work and a full time job. I felt constantly overwhelmed and tired. But, mostly I remember I felt guilty…all of the time. I struggled trying to ...figure out how I would carve out time to do the work of my Father while taking care of my family and other obligations. I admit that wasn’t too bright. It took me a while to realize that I didn’t have to choose. Rather than finding more time for ME to visit the elderly, or widows and widowers, prepare classroom visual aids, etc. if I included my daughter. Rather than seeing serving the Lord as separate from my family, it could become a part of who we were as a family. It became a special time for my daughter when we baked cookies to take to some elderly folks, or soup for a person who was ill. Our Lord tells us to train up our children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6) and to train our children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph 6:4). I admit that I allowed my feelings of worldly obligations to blind me to the training opportunity I had with my child. No one can do everything, our Lord allows us to choose what is best for us at the time in His service. Now, the weekend is upon us and it is time for family and fun. I must say that I wouldn’t trade the memories of my little daughter and I sitting on the front porch of the home of a sweet elderly couple while sharing chocolate chip cookies we had baked that morning. These memories are even more special to me now, 15 years later, when she calls and asks for a certain recipe because she knows someone is sick or in mourning and it would comfort them. Yes, sisters, training can never start too early, not when we are training for a lifetime of service. But, some day, it may be too late.

The Sweetest Sound.

~Erin Blair

Today the music industry has permeated almost every aspect of our lives. You just look at the school scene and you see teenagers, and even young children, with ear buds in listening to their iPod or MP3 player. Some restaurants, stores and massage therapy rooms all have music playing to put you in a certain mood or mindset. It’s a simple concept because who of us hasn’t listened to the soothing sound of nature and become relaxed or listened to classical music in a nice restaurant and not felt more special? Sounds are all around us and affect us in numerous ways.

Recently during our song service during Sunday morning worship, I heard the sweetest sound that I have ever heard. The sound was coming from a few rows back where a young boy 7 years old was singing the songs alongside his father, mother and 2 year old little sister. Musically speaking, he was not singing very well; he was off-key, off-beat and singing maybe too loudly. But despite him being off-pitch, I couldn’t help but be uplifted as my heart melted at hearing this young boy sing songs about “how I long for the Paradise valley, where the beauty of heaven I’ll see” and “I need Thee every hour”. He couldn’t even read all the words, but he did have them memorized from hearing and singing them so often as he sat with his parents or with his grandfather on the front row as he lead singing. I can’t help but praise his parents for teaching him the importance of singing songs of praise to our Heavenly Father and participating in worship services. 

Even at such a tender, young age this boy knew that he must worship God in spirit and in truth (John 4:23). And by knowing such, he knew that singing praises with a sincere heart was essential (1 Corinthians 14:15). He knew that singing to God was a joyful act and he should be happy. After all, the Psalmist wrote, “Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name” (Psalm 100:4). 

When you ask someone what their favorite sound is they might give you a title of a song, an animal noise, running water, or perhaps a loved one’s voice. But as I sat there listening to this young boy singing songs of worship and praise to his Father, I couldn’t help a tear form in my eye as I found the sweetest sound: a child expressing, vocally, devotion to the Lord. Blessed be parents who raise such children!  

Erin resides in Ben Wheeler Tx with her husband. Erin has been involved with preparing and organizing the work of the church such as teaching all ages of Bibles classes, helped prepare and organize Ladies Days, Prom Alternatives, Youth Rallies and VBS.  She is currently the senior paralegal for a law firm. She and her husband also spend their time enjoying their three very large, but very sweet dogs.

More than a Toy

~Tracy Frederick

 

I stopped by one of our dollar stores on December 28th looking around for Bible class take home ideas and I couldn’t help overhearing the only other customers. Mom and grandma were searching for something specific while a young man of about 10 scrutinized the toys. At each toy inspection he YELLED across the store to his mother that he “needed” a toy-whichever one he was testing out at the time. I... can only imagine the amount of toys the young man must have received on Christmas to cause such a reaction of selfishness and gluttony. At one point I came face to face with the mother, who was pushing a cart with a little girl who was also grabbing for toys as her mother tried to navigate the aisles. I looked into her weary eyes as we met. She looked up at me, embarrassed but shrugged as if to say, “What can you do?" as her son yelled out another demand. I thought about how this little boy has already learned the lesson of ingratitude, selfishness, excess and self pride. He has already learned to focus on the material. I immediately thought of beautiful babies that will bound into the church building on Sunday and Wednesday evening excited for Bible class. They will be taught there that the Lord must be first in our lives. I prayed that they are taught all gifts come from the Father and their Creator, not their parents or grandparents. I prayed that they know God made it possible, not Santa. I also prayed for that family and the little boy. It was a gentle reminder: “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever” I John 2: 15-17.

The Joy Of Oneness

~Nancy Goring

I have noticed lately that there are many young folks who are engaged, anticipating marriage in the near future. That is a great thing. Marriage is beautiful, and has been instituted by Jehovah God. He knew that man would need a helpmeet; someone to share his life with, so God created woman from the rib of man and the two became one. Genesis 2:23 and Matthew 19:5 are passages that God gives us for the basis for our marriages. When we marry, we are to join ourselves to that one we have chosen and leave parents and cleave to one another. “For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and the twain shall become one flesh.” (Matthew 19:5). This is such a beautiful passage as it shows the oneness of marriage. “In Genesis 2:24 the Hebrew words are l­baasaar °echaad. Our Lord literally translates Matthew 19:5 to mean also, that children, compounded as it were of both, should be the product of the matrimonial connection. Thus, they two (man and woman) shall be for the producing of one flesh, the very same kind of human creature with themselves.” (from Adam Clarke's Commentary, Electronic Database. Copyright © 1996, 2003, 2005, 2006 by Biblesoft, Inc. All rights reserved.) (from Adam Clarke's Commentary, Electronic Database. Copyright © 1996, 2003, 2005, 2006 by Biblesoft, Inc. All rights reserved.) Note that marriage is between a man and woman and children are produced from this union. Same sex marriages have never been designed nor accepted by God. The very anatomical nature of the male and female would logically dictate this.

 

Marriage can be the biggest blessing in our lives, second only to our Christianity. Sadly, many enter into marriage blindly, or basing their decision upon the physical needs being met, and often ignorantly. I do not say that to be demeaning, but I fear that there is not nearly enough teaching on this grave subject today. Above and beyond the fact that the world has twisted the meaning of “marriage” to incorporate same sex unions, Hollywood, magazines, TV and movies have given us a distorted view of marriage. They would have us to believe that we “deserve” so much, that it is okay to be self-serving, self-centered and selfish, and that our mate is to provide our every little whim. In fact, marriage is a job. Yes, I know that sounds a bit harsh but you must work at it. It doesn’t just “happen!” When the “two” become “one,” as God intended, they will put the other’s needs first. They will strive to be as kind and loving as possible to one another, because that is how they want to be treated. Ephesians 5:22-25 gives us a beautiful picture of the marriage relationship. It is selfless. It is compared to that precious relationship that Christ has with His bride, the church.That is what real love is. There is much joy in the oneness of marriage. For our marriages to be great, we must learn to be one, not two. As we meld together in body, mind and spirit, we take on an entire new entity, producing that oneness God spoke of. That is the way He designed us. Only when we practice this oneness will we be complete. We need to teach our young people this and share those Bible verses that will allow them to know how to cultivate that beautiful union that God expects of us. The following words were spoken by Tertullian a long time ago. 

 

“Beautiful the marriage of Christians; two who are one in hope, one in desire, one in the way of life they follow, one in the religion they practice.

They are both servants of the same Master. Nothing divides them, either in flesh or in spirit.

They are two in one flesh, and where there is one flesh, there is also one spirit.

They pray together, they worship together; instructing one another, strengthening one another.

Side by side they visit God's church; side by side, they face difficulties and persecution, share their consolations.

They have no secrets from one another, they never bring sorrow to one another’s hearts.

Unembarrassed they visit the sick and assist the needy. They give alms without anxiety.

Psalms and hymns they sing. Hearing and seeing this, Christ rejoices. To such as these He gives His peace.” Tertullian of Charthage 160 - 230 A. D. 

 

Notice the last phrase, “to such as these He gives His peace.” When we function in our marriages as God designed us, following His will in all things, we will be blessed with peaceful godly marriages. After almost 49 years  I am still working at my marriage – that I might be the best that I can be,  pleasing in the sight of God. I pray that each of you will do the same and reap the Joy Of Oneness.

Nancy is the wife of Bill Goring, who serves as a gospel preacher and elder for the Chipman Road church of Christ in Lee’s Summit, Missouri. She has 4 children, 11 grandchildren and has taught Bible class for over 40 years, speaks at Ladies Day gatherings and has published several books including: Behavior Becoming Holiness: Studies in Titus Chapter 2 and Overcoming our Self-Imposed Prisons.

Ice Cream, Cotton Candy, Cookies and Butterflies

~Tracy Frederick

For some reason lately, I crave ice cream. I could eat it for every meal. OK! NO! Don’t jump to conclusions here!  It is creamy and cold and lately I’ve had to lie down a lot to allow my hip to recover from surgery. I suffer from severe acid reflux, so lying down is a problem  and anything that keeps from making me breath fire is wonderful relief for me…so, see, ice cream is what I am craving. The problem is that there is very little nutritious about ice cream, or frozen yogurt (my real choice actually), and try as I may, and no matter how often or how many labels I read, I just can’t make it so. My husband keeps reminding me repeatedly: “ice cream isn’t FOOD!”  He is right, sigh, it isn’t and I cannot live on ice cream, but wouldn’t it be nice? Wouldn’t it be great to just enjoy the wonderful pleasures of the sweets that we enjoy and the prettiness that surrounds us that God gave us to enjoy without dealing with the ugliness that is the reality of this world as a product of sin that we brought here?  Recently, I read a small scripture that gave me pause to consider this very issue.

You are, no doubt, familiar with the famous passages found in Deuteronomy 4:9-10;  Deut. 6:7-8, 11:19. Many of us can say these verses by heart and understand the command to teach our children. But the question becomes…teach what? God tells the children of Israel to tell their children of the greatness of God who brought them out of bondage. It tells them to tell their children about the journey they made to the land their God had promised, and despite their disobedience, He kept that promise. He tells them to teach them the law and that God is a God of patience. He is one who always keeps His promise.

But, it wasn’t until recently when I was preparing to teach the temptation of Christ to my three and four year old class that I realize that I didn’t know how to teach the concept of Satan to them. I even thought about skipping over that account because it sounded so negative and they are so innocent. I was prepared to teach the love of God. It was that week that I read Joel 1:3:” Tell your children about it, Let your children tell their children, And their children another generation.” What were they to tell their children? Read onto verse 4: What the chewing locust left, the swarming locust has eaten; What the swarming locust left, the crawling locust has eaten; And what the crawling locust left, the consuming locust has eaten.” And the verses concerning destruction continued..ewwwww. They aren’t pleasant images. But, they are images of what really happened, the power of God and the punishment the people had to endure. Really? God wants them to tell their children of the punishment that God can deal out? Yep! You got it. Just as those children need to know the love of God and the lovingkindness and patience, they also need to understand that God’s patience will not endure forever and that someone that is trying to drag them into the depths of a pit of eternal punishment, someone who is very real and will try to consume their souls, someone that they must guard against from the very start, if they choose to disobey God. They must understand that God will do whatever He must to keep us from that place. 

It would be great if I could survive on ice cream, cookies and cotton candy. It would be wonderful if all I had to deal with was pleasantness in the world, but Adam and Eve’s sinned and I must live with the reality of that sin, and so must those precious children.  They watch the bad guys fight the good guys in cartoons and movies; the very basis of good vs. evil. So, I realized how important it is to teach my preschool class that disobedience will mean God will mean punishment and Satan is real. We practiced making Satan go away by saying (in our strongest and loudest voice!) “Go away Satan! We hate you!!! It is written: We obey GOD! ”  Yes, Satan is real, and although it would be much easier to avoid it, we must be willing and ready to teach our children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews the reality that God will punish, that hell is real and so is Satan. We must not be afraid to tell them the truth.  After all, the scary part is, we know Satan will tell them whatever lies he chooses. He can and will disguise himself as something they love- usually something beautiful and unexpected, a temptation…ice cream…cotton candy....cookies…butterflies?  (II Corinthians 11:14). 

What if....

~Tracy Frederick

For many of us, the future always seems to hold the answers. We consider the situations of the present and dream about the ease and the good times ahead.  The good times are always ahead, right? Or perhaps with just a little changes, they could be, I mean, “what if…” : What if the house were paid off? We could do so much with that money for a vacation, college funds for the kids, or: What if I had just a few extra hours in the day? I could relax more; I could sleep a little later. The possibilities of “what if” are endless, right?  Unfortunately, they aren’t. Our God has allowed us to choose “what if.”  ("Thus says the Lord: “Behold, I set before you the way of life and the way of death." Jeremiah 21:8. ) For all of us moms, aunts, sisters, grandmothers, mother in laws, there are a few “what if’s” that I hope we will consider today, as we contemplate the choices we make today determine what the future holds:

What if… my child is on the school honor roll, but doesn’t know the books of the Bible?

What if… my child does all of her homework each night for hours, but doesn’t spend time with her Lord each night?

What if…my child wins the school AR reading awards, but has never opened his Bible to read about the love of his God?

What if…my child wins countless awards for swimming, softball, football, etc. but fails to understand the importance of Matthew 6:33 and suffers in poverty and want forever?

What if…my child is the most popular child in school, but spends his lifetime in emotional loneliness  because he does not understand the sacrificial love his God gave for him alone?

What if…my child knows the best study habits to make a high score on the ACT/SAT, final, etc., but doesn’t know God’s plan for salvation?

What if…my child has a built-in GPS in his car so he will never get lost while traveling, but doesn’t know the way to heaven?

What if…my child gets a full ride/full scholarship to the college of her choice, but does not understand the importance of the Lord’s church?

What if…my child gains the whole world, but loses his soul? (Mk 8:36)

What if?

Run!

~Tracy Frederick

Many of us watched the opening ceremonies of the Olympics last night and are awed by the lights and the theatrics. This country had been planning for the spectacular for years.  Today, the athletes are beginning their competitions and we will wait in anticipation to find out if our country is leading in the medal race. But, if we look behind the scenes, we find out that these athletes have been training for their chance on the gold medal platform for years, some for most of their lives. I recall learning that some countries will search for Olympic talent when children are as young as preteens.  Some of these children know nothing else, but to keep their eye on the opportunity to compete in the Olympics for most of their lives. It is their single goal. It sounds exhausting, doesn’t it? Many of us may have even fanaticized about our children competing in the Olympics and wearing a gold medal when we see some hint of talent as they swim, hit a softball, or seem to run around with seemingly lightening speed. We know it is a long shot, but wouldn’t it be amazing? Wouldn’t we swell with pride? But it takes years to train, making sure our child were associated with the best trainers and surrounded by those who are single-minded in trying to help our children, or us, prepare for that one day that we would have a chance to win a gold medal.  Many of these athletes will move from friends and family to help them focus on their goal.  Parents and athletes will find the best trainers and listen intently for their direction that will help them to be the athlete they need to be to win.  Their  children's lives are dedicated to this one day, this one chance. 

I hope that as each of us watches the Olympic games this year, we will consider the race that each of us run every day. I hope we will consider our children's training for the most important race of their lives. Our Lord tells us:“ But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” Acts 20:24. “Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it.” I Cor. 9:24.  I hope that we consider the “gold medal” that our Savior longs to give us, to give our precious babies. But, the stakes are the same. We must train every day. “I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14. We need to surround ourselves with people who are concerned about our finishing the race, who will give us encouragement that we can do this! We must also listen to those who will help us to make sure we are training correctly and don’t become distracted by Satan’s temptations to quit, who tell us it is just too hard. We must keep in mind those athletes that have gone before us and were successful and are at the finish line cheering us on: “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,” Heb 12:1.  This life has a longer training period for heaven than for the Olympics. The training gets old and sometimes seems exhausting. But we must remember that others are running with us. We don’t have to do this alone.  When all is said and done, what a peaceful and satisfying feeling it will be to say: I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.   2 Timothy 4:7.  

A Foot Thing

~Tracy Frederick

I admit it; I have a problem with feet. I really don’t like them. I mean, I know they are necessary, but, well, I am embarrassed by my feet and have super ticklish feet to the point that the thought of having a pedicure or someone touch my feet sends me in a panic. Friends have invited me to outings for pedicures and I always find an excuse.  I rarely wear sandals and am usually the one in the midst of summer wearing winter socks and shoes.  In fact, my husband will tell you that if he accidentally touches my feet in my sleep, I will jump and move them. There are a lot of reasons behind my foot creeps, but I don’t think I am alone in this. I’ve had conversations with other women and usually it doesn’t take much for them to start telling their story about their crooked toes or some such issue with their feet. Maybe that is why we like to pedicure them and polish the toe nails. That is, we just feel the need to dress them up so they don’t look so…well…feety?  So, recently when my husband and I were discussing Jesus washing the disciple’s feet, we had lots to discuss. Our elders are involved in the Kidsing program and they are now working on the “John card” You will recall that in chapter 13 Jesus washes the apostles feet.  My husband said he remembers this chapter easily because it was “unlucky number 13” and how unlucky can someone get to wash someone’s feet? I have thought much about my own aversion to feet and how much I would hate to wash someone’s feet, especially in the situation that they were in where the feet were dirty after much walking on the dirt roads. As I have been meditating on the humbleness of our Lord when He washed another’s feet, I have considered what it would be like to see my Lord get on His knees and take off my nasty shoes and tenderly care for my feet, my disgusting feet. This humble attitude is exemplified so well in Jesus’ “unlucky” act of washing the apostle’s feet. We might consider that these were Jesus’ closest followers. They had walked many miles with Him; were the chosen few. They were even asked to go with Him and bring Him comfort in His final hours. They were those closest to our Savior.

Recently my husband and I have discussed how we have noticed many who treat their friends better than their spouses. I have thought about that a lot lately. Perhaps we make a special meal for someone who is coming for dinner and spruce up the house, or maybe we buy something special for our friend while out shopping, but neglect thinking about our husband, the one we are closest to.  Maybe we feel that we don’t need to do something special because he is our husband. He is supposed to love us, care for us, and take care of our physical needs…even die for us if necessary, Ephesians 5, right? He is supposed to love me even as Christ loves the church.

I have been wondering lately if I give my husband reasons to love me, to take care of me, to die for me. In short, I am not so sure I am caring for my husband’s feet. I try to help, encourage and do for others, but perhaps I am not as good about looking at my own man’s feet. Some might argue and say: “Does he wash your feet?” What has he done for you that show he deserves his feet washed?”  But, that really isn’t the point, is it? You know, Jesus didn’t wash the disciples’ feet because they washed His. Jesus didn’t wash their feet because they had brought Him gifts, or had done something special for Him. In fact, if you think about it, they never brought Him anything. Sadly, when He performed this act, He knew they would abandon Him in His hour of need, He knew, as He washed Judas’ feet that Judas would betray Him (John 13:11). He did it anyway (“Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.” John 13:1 NKJ). He did it because it was needed. He did it because He loved them. He did it to teach them, and us, how to love, really love.  

I have a foot problem, and wish I were more like those women who wear the pretty sandals and have the toenails painted; I just can’t. In fact, I’ve had many funny conversations lately with a friend and sister about toes and our foot issues. But lately when I look at others feet, I am beginning to consider more carefully my husband’s feet that he puts into those dirty, almost worn out boots that he laces up tight each and every day as he leaves our home before sunrise to provide for my needs. Those feet must be tired and very dirty ( he is a land surveyor by trade). His job means he is on his feet all day. I realize that the account of our Savior washing His disciple’s feet doesn’t mean we literally have to wash feet (so happy about that), but the idea is still that we should humble ourselves in service to others, even those in our home that we love the most and may even take for granted every day. I think it is time I get down on my knees. I bet my dear sweet husband could use a good foot washing.

The Most Magical Dangerous Night of the Year.

~ Erin Blair

With spring coming up, that means one thing for juniors and seniors in high school: PROM! Many girls will spend countless hours this spring finding the perfect dress, the perfect hairstyle, the perfect shoes and perfect makeup. With all the glitter and glitz of prom night, many refer to it as the most magical night of the year in a young girl’s and boy’s life. But it is rather the most dangerous night of the year for their souls. Satan is ever present on the dance floor of the high school gym (or wherever the school decides to host it) during prom and is weaving in and out of the crowd, offering them the pleasures of sin. I mean, who cares if the pleasures of sin are only for a season when you can enjoy them right now? When they are in “the moment,” they don’t realize the danger to their eternal soul.

1 Peter 1:14-16 “As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.”

 Let me define what I mean by dancing. When referring to dancing, I do not mean the jumping up and down, cheering at a football game when your team wins, for some would argue that is dancing. I do not mean the dancing David did before the ark (1 Chronicles 15:16-29) or the dancing the Israelite women did when they were delivered from the Egyptians after crossing the Red Sea (Exodus 15:20). And I am not talking about the dancing that a husband and wife do in the privacy of their own home. When talking about dancing, I mean the modern dance such as prom, homecoming dances, junior high dances, bars and nightclubs.

Dancing, from the beginning, is used as an enticing activity. When a man sees a woman dance (such as at prom or a strip club), he is easily enticed to lust. Herodias knew this well as we see in Mark 6:22-23 - “And when the daughter of the said Herodias came in, and danced, and pleased Herod and them that sat with him, the king said unto the damsel, Ask of me whatsoever thou wilt, and I will give it thee. And he sware unto her, Whatsoever thou shalt ask of me, I will give it thee, unto the half of my kingdom.” What does it mean when it says she “pleased Herod”? I can guarantee you she was not jumping up and down, cheering for seeing the king; he was pleased because she enticed lustful desires in the king (perhaps she danced similar to dances seen at a strip club or nightclub).  And we also see in this verse how easily men are swayed by the enticing movements of a beautiful woman for he told her “Whatsoever thou shalt ask of me, I will give it thee, unto the half of my kingdom.” Later on, you see she used that influence she had over him to have John the baptizer beheaded. When men’s eyes are clouded by their lustful desires from seeing the sensual movements of a woman, their mind is not on godly things and what is good and just.

We also see the result of dancing in Exodus 32 when the Israelites were worshipping the golden calf. Paul writes to the church at Corinth in 1 Corinthians 10:6-8 “Now these things were our examples, to the intent we should not lust after evil things, as they also lusted. Neither be ye idolaters, as were some of them; as it is written, The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play. Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.” That term, “rose to play” refers to dancing which later on led to sexual fornications, and because of their dancing and fornications, God struck down 23,000 of them! Why would God strike down so many? Because they were involved in activities that took place among the Egyptians and the people around them. God wanted them to be a different people, a peculiar people, a people called after God. They were also following after the lust of the flesh by “eating and drinking and rising up to play.” Why did they do it? Their flesh wanted to; because it was fun and the nations around them were doing similar things.

 God warns many times throughout scripture of the works of the flesh, or the desires of the flesh. Paul further warns the Galatian brethren in Galatians 5:19-21 “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.” The words to be noted in this passage are: lasciviousness, revellings, and such like. Lasciviousness, or lewdness, is defined as “indecent bodily movements, unchaste (unclean, impure) handling of males and females, unbridled lust.” What picture does this definition paint? A dance! A dance includes all of this: indecent bodily movements, unchaste handling of boys and girls, and often unbridled lust! One Greek scholar (who was not a Christian) said that lasciviousness is a characteristic of a man into whose presence/company a man would never take his daughter. How interesting is it that someone who was not a Christian, and who probably had little morals due to the culture of his day, recognized that lasciviousness is wrong!

 Now let’s look at revellings which is defined as drinking parties where dancing is present, any dancing. When someone drinks alcoholic beverages, their senses are dulled and their reasoning impaired so it is natural that they would not see anything wrong with dancing because they can’t decipher what is wrong or right. Lastly, and what I think is the most important phrase regarding dancing in this passage, is “such like.” This means anything that even looks like it is related to lasciviousness or revellings. If it is a first, second, or third cousin, don’t do it! If it involved in these things, stay away from it! This condemns prom, homecoming dances, junior high dances, nightclubs and other places where dancing and immodesty takes place.

Sadly, many people, even in the church, defend dancing giving many excuses as to why it is okay. Isaiah speaks of such people in Isaiah 5:20 “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter.” Some say they dance for exercise. I can tell you there are very few people who actually go to a dance just for the exercise. After all, someone cannot watch the indecent bodily movements of a young woman in a skin tight, revealing dress with sweet smelling perfume without lustful thoughts entering his mind. Or they cannot participate in the close dancing, hip-grinding moves of the dance without being tempted.

Some argue, “Well, I can dance without evil thoughts.” Okay, so perhaps they can but what about those around them? Can they?  Jesus warned of causing others to be tempted in Mark 9: 24 “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea.” As Christians, we are to make sure that our actions do not cause another brother or sister to fall into temptation and if we are dancing, we risk causing another to stumble and fall.

I have even heard some say “I don’t see anything wrong with it.” If nothing is wrong with it, then how about a hot, immodestly dressed college girl dance with your husband? Any person would baulk at that notion, possibly even starting a fight on the dance floor if this happened. Why? Because they recognize that dancing is an activity that entices sexual desires. Also, if nothing is wrong with it, then why do boys dance with girls and not boys with boys and girls with girls? Because we recognize that that would be wrong and give an impression of homosexuality. If a school did this, had one weekend where it was a boys only prom and then the next weekend a girls only prom, no one would come! Why is this? Because it isn’t enticing, and the pleasure of sin isn’t there.

 What about the argument: “It’s a chaperoned dance! There are adults there.” Christian adults? Adults with the health of the student’s souls in mind? No. Rather there are teachers who do not understand the laws of God, or at least very few. Do you really expect people with no understanding of God and His commands on purity and dancing are going to be watching out for Satan among the students?  Many schools are starting to shut down their dances such as prom because they recognize how corrupt and immoral it is becoming. If the teachers who are not Christians recognize the evils of the dance, why are members of the church not recognizing, or acknowledging, it?

1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 says “Test all things; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil.” Scripture doesn’t say abstain from just evil, but every form of evil. If it looks evil, or is associated with something that is evil or sinful, stay away from it. This includes dances, whether at the schools or at a bar, or nightclub down the road. The modern dance is all about sexual sin. After all, if it wasn’t why would the dresses be so revealing or the dance moves so suggestive? Dancing leads to fornication. One statistic says that more teenagers lose their virginity on prom night than any other night of the year. It makes sense when you factor in the mood lighting, the romantic songs which are usually about making love or other such activities, the cute figured girls wearing dresses that expose their back, sides, chest and upper thighs, and the dance moves that simulate sex.

Oh, but some say “I’ll go just to hang out with my friends. I won’t dance.” But even if they don’t dance or drink the alcoholic beverages, they are showing their support of the dance by their presence there and money they spent on a ticket, or drink. After all, Solomon said in Proverbs 6:27 “Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?” If they are at a dance, whether it be at the school or a bar/nightclub, they are around sin. Can they guarantee that they won’t be tempted by what they see? After all, at a dance Satan uses the lust of the eyes and lust of the flesh to entice a person. But he also tempts someone, a Christian, by weakening their defenses by the pride of life, causing someone to think that they can’t be affected. When a teenager is in their mid to late teens, their hormones are at the highest level they will be, causing them to not think with their head but rather with their hormones. This is a dangerous trap when parents let their little, baby girl go dressed in a dress that more resembles a rag with sequins on it to a place where young men’s eyes and mind are on one thing, or sending their son, who is a Christian, to a place where there are beautiful girls dancing in a seductive, suggestive way. If a parent sends their child to a school dance, they are throwing their precious soul to the lions and they will be torn to pieces by Satan.

“Oh but its fun,” they say. “Everyone will be there,” they say. Is the dance more important than the cause of Christ and His church? Are a few hours on the dance floor worth risking sending the soul to hell? Are the pleasures of sin for a season (Hebrews 11:25) worth the risk of losing your soul (or your child’s soul) to eternal punishment?

Erin is the wife of Jordan Blair who preaches for the New Madrid church of Christ in New Madrid, MO. Erin currently teaches the teen girls class and has helped with church activities like Prom Alternatives, Youth Rallies and VBS. She is currently working as a paralegal for a law firm.