Living in Reality

~ Erin Blair

My husband and I were having an interesting discussion the other day (which we tend to have quite often). We were talking about why Christ said in Matthew 5:28, “But I say to you that whosoever looks at a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her in his heart.” We have read and heard lessons on this verse countless times in our lives. But what if God, and therefore Christ, were also making another point besides desiring something that isn’t ours to have?

The popularity of films and books like 50 Shades of Grey, Twilight and countless other “romance” novels is fairly simple I believe. Why do women fawn over characters like Christian Grey or Edward Cullen or –fill in the blank with whatever romantic character you wish-? These characters are fictional and therefore written to be “perfect.” It is an escape to a reality where their husband’s imperfections don’t exist.

It’s a matter of reality.

My husband pointed out in our discussion of Matthew 5:28 that when someone, man or woman, “lusts after” or desires another man or woman, they don’t see their flaws, their imperfections. They don’t see their bed head, or the hamper full of dirty clothes or the sink of dirty dishes. They see what they want to see – a “perfect” person. This isn’t real. No one is perfect.

God knows the danger of living in a reality that is not true real. If our minds are off in “la-la land,” dreaming about the handsome stranger we saw across the restaurant, or our minds are filled with thoughts of being rescued and romanced by a Fabio-esque hero, our minds our not on our husbands and not on God.

I know of women who got so engrossed in their fantasies that they neglected their duties as a Christian, as a wife, and as a mother. Their relationship with their family suffered, sometimes beyond repair. And most importantly, their relationship with God suffered. 

God knows how living apart mentally from our spouse can damage our relationship and how it can damage our relationship with Him. God has blessed us (James 1:17) so why would we want to any other reality?

Erin resides in Ben Wheeler TX with her husband, Jordan. Erin has been involved with preparing and organizing the work of the church since she was a teenager by teaching all ages of Bibles classes, helping prepare and organize Ladies Days, Prom Alternatives, Youth Rallies and VBS.  She is currently works as a paralegal for a law firm. She and her husband also spend their time enjoying their garden, dogs, rabbits, chickens, ducks, quail…etc.  Life is never dull at her house.