He really thought that he’d gotten away with it; he thought that he had covered his tracks well. No one said anything, but everyone new, but everyone also knew that he was God’s chosen. Who was going to say anything and risk being unemployed, perhaps put in prison, or worse? Besides, if anyone was above God’s law, it would be David, right? It is easy to list off David’s righteous accomplishments: He killed Goliath when no one else would attempt it; he didn’t kill Saul- God’s anointed, even though he had a right; he brought the ark back to Israel. I mean, it doesn’t get much better than David, right? I think it is interesting that God includes David’s sin in His book. David seemed so perfect, but then no one is…perfect, right? I cringe when I read Nathan’s words to David: you have “despised the commandments of the Lord to do evil in His sight” (2 Samuel 11). David despise the Lord? Really? Wow…..But didn’t he love the Lord? Didn’t God know that David was a good guy? I mean, “despised” is a pretty strong word. But, that’s the word that the Lord gave Nathan to say to David: despise. I can’t imagine the hurt that David felt. But, what follows is so amazing. David didn’t get angry at Nathan and he didn’t deny it. He didn’t argue with Nathan, or defend his actions. He didn’t try to excuse it away like Adam tried to excuse his sin in the garden, or Abraham’s lie about Sarah….nope, he owned it…He said: ”I have sinned against the Lord.” He owned it with NO excuses….He did it and he knew it…and in doing it and denying the sin, He despised the Lord. That’s what drove him to his knees; it drove him to the floor to pray for forgiveness and then he willingly accepted the consequences- the death of his child.
I wonder how often we our conscience is so sorely troubled over our offense that we have been too soul-sick to eat or sleep, or willingly accepted what we deserve, as David did. I fear that we have lost our ability to feel sorry…REALLY sorry, that godly sorrow that David felt (For godly sorrow works repentance to salvation not to be regretted: but the sorrow of the world works death. 2 Cor 7:10). I worry that we have convinced ourselves, perhaps like David, that we are such a good person that it will all “even out in the end.” Or perhaps we are in denial too? Perhaps we have convinced ourselves that our Father doesn’t really see?…doesn’t know?….won’t mind?….or will ignore it?…for us, since we love Him so much, right? If He love us so much, why wouldn’t He just overlook it? I mean, it’s embarrassing right? Repentance always is. It means that we put away our egos and admit that we are wrong….yep wrong…wrong…wrong… But, that’s what led us to the Lord in the first place, right? Realizing that we were wrong…DEAD wrong and knew the consequences that awaited us for despising the Lord. It is hard, I get it, repentance means that I have to make the sin right: I may have go to someone and apologize for being a liar, I may have to apologize for cheating, change my clothes or even change my friends….It means that I may be lonely for a very, very, very long time…But, you know the list of the works of the flesh in Gal 5 or the long list of sins in Rom 1. But, even if we don’t know that list by heart, we know…don’t we? Yeah, we know….we know what is right and what is wrong…. we know but I am not so sure that we realize that He knows too…He sees and He knows.… and the really important, or the scary and tough part is-- if He wasn’t willing to ignore David’s sins, He isn’t going to just ignore mine either is He?
“Therefore bear fruits worthy of repentance.” Matthew 3:8